[::lost::] in a ~fairy*tale~

Funny, init?

2003-12-14T06:43:00.000-06:00

So I've abandoned el crapo Blogger for livejournal.

Yes, I have gone over to the dark side. I just really hate blogger, and I'm sad to go so soon after I get a whole brand spanking new template. But that's the way it is. I"ve been meaning to get a lj for sometime, but blogger is just so CRAPPY.

Anyway, my new lj is here in case you wanna continue reading my ranty life.

Thank you, dear blogger friends, for, um...reading?
Yeah. That's it.

Just because I feel like it...

2003-12-10T21:22:00.000-06:00

Adi smirked and threw two dice onto the table between them. “I’ve an idea, Sorin. We’ll solve this the easy way, letting divine intervention intervene as it may.” She picked up one of the dice and held it up between her thumb and forefinger. “You roll your die, I’ll roll mine. Whoever gets the highest number wins not only the Scarlet Angel, but also half of the spoils from the raid. And not only that, the winner takes complete command of the mission. And the other has to submit completely.”

Sorin leaned forward and looked at her intently. “How do I know ye won’t cheat and use loaded dice?” He picked the remaning die up and inspected it.

“Do you honestly think I’d do such a thing?” Adi asked innocently.

Sorin just quirked his eyebrow. “You’re a pirate!” he said, as if it should be obvious.

“Thanks for pointing that out Sorin, or I might have never figured it out.” Adi rolled the die onto the table, and put her hand over her heart. “May I be hanged and my bowels cut out and replaced with red hot coals,” she said solemnly.

Sorin grabbed her die, and rolled it a few times. Each time it landed on a different number. He did the same with his own.

“You don’t trust me,” Adi commented. It was a statement, not a question.

“Would ye trust the devil, Adi?”

“Even I’m not the devil.” Adi smiled, and grabbed her die. She held out her hand, and Sorin shook it, solidifying the bet. “Shall we roll?”

Sorin smiled, and took his die. “On the count o’ three. One…”

Adi fingered her die, looking at Sorin with a strange smug glint in her eye.

“Two…” Sorin furrowed his brow, trying to get what Adi was playing at. “Three.”

They both threw down their dice. Sorin’s landed on four, and Adi…

“Never go against me in dice, Sorin.” Adi said, picking up the die which had landed on six. “Looks like the Scarlet Angel will remain mine.”

Sorin scratched his head, and looked at his die. “You have all the luck, Adilark.”

Adi smirked. “Luck has nothing to do with it, Sorin. You’ve forgotten that incident in Dassin three years ago when I was gambling with the crew of the Sea Witch?”

Sorin jumped up from the table. “You rotten cheater!” He grabbed her by her collar and slammed her into the table. “You manipulated how many times the damn thing rolled!”

Adi just grinned, and reached up to pat Sorin on the cheek. “Now it’s my turn to say that I’m a Pirate!” She pushed the shocked pirate off of her, and straightened her broadcoat. “To the Scarlet Angel, shall we?”

“I hate ye.”

“Tell me somthin' I don't know.”

Another rambling, soul searching post...

2003-12-09T22:25:00.000-06:00

Being sick and not being able to sleep gives you a lot of time to think.

I've been thinking lately of my writing. Fanfics and originals both. I mean, its so strange. My fanfics inspire my originals, and my originals inspire my fanfics. My Pirates of the caribbean fic so inspired an original pirate story I've been meaning to write.

I write too much, I know that. How many unfinished stories do I have on this thing? Way too many, let me tell you. But I don't have the heart to delete any of them, because maybe, just maybe, one day, I'll go back and finish them.

NaNoWriMo was good for me. It gave me the incentive to finish something, and I don't much have that. I should use that method with Angel of Music, because Lord knows I need to get that thing finished. I'ts been sitting on my computer for weeks on end, waiting for me to pick it up again.

I've been thinking lately about the Fresca Files. I never, ever expected that that trilogy woudl make me famous on ff.net. Seriously. It was just an excuse to write a self-insertion fic (which then took a life of its own and became more of a Mary Sue on Crack; see Heather's Adventures), and it became, well, an epic. I find that there are three seperate spin offs coming from it, forming a trilogy of their own. I am kind of burnt out on these fics, even though I adroe them. I will certainly miss them when i'm done with them forever, but I have to admit that It will be like a little funeral when I write the last chapter of the last fic. The Fresca FIles made me famous (in a sense), and I always wanted to write stories that were appreciated. While they aren't published, I at least have someone who wants my autograph (am I'm certain she'll be the first fan to get it. We have plans about that...), if not more than just one person.

And I know someone who wants to draw the five girls, as well, which would just make my day. I wonder, when will I find that someone's written a fanfic? I'm not entirely certain it'll go that far, but the concept is intriguing.

I wonder what it will be like when I'm published? Will it be the same, only amplified? I don't have many non-fans, that I know of. Or if I do, they haven't said anything.

All I know is, I'm doing what I love, and I hope and pray that I'll be able to continue doing this until the day I die.

PIRATES!!!

2003-12-09T14:05:00.000-06:00

Gosh darnit, I love pirates.... TO DEATH!

I have to write my pirate story now.

Still sick by the way. Blarg.

Blargh

2003-12-08T16:03:00.000-06:00

Enetation hates me. I can't change the comments system, bah.

Oh, and a side note, for kids at school who read this, yes i WAS sick today, and I still feel like crap. That doesn't explain what I'm doing online, but it does explain why i wasn't at school. Mom gave me this wonderful pill that completely knocked me out while allowing me to breath through my nose.

AND SHE BROUGHT IN A SPACE HEATER INTO MY ROOM!

I woke up from a particularly strange dream (more later) and found I couldn't stop shivering. So I ventured into the kitchen, downed half a soda, and let the cat in, and took him into my room.

I woke mom up with my pained squeaks (yes, I was squeaking. Leave me alone), and she came in early this morning and asked if I was sick. I said I didn't know (i lose all sense of sanity when I'm sick) and she came in later, to which I said I coudln't go to school.

Lord, I didn't even want to try.

And so mom gave me pills, and the sleep was wonderful.

the dram was weird. It involved Luke Y., who because of my insanity, I can't remember if he's a sophomore or a Junior. But he was in it. He took a test and was granted leave to become a senior or something, and he got drunk worrying about the test after he took it, and I was reading Bri's research paper for ENglish, which for some reason turned into the story of her life (whihc, now that I remember, wasn't ANYTHING like the story of her life we heard in religion).

I think I have weirdo dreams when I'm sick...

Anyway, I have to go lie down and watch Pirates or something.

Weee!

2003-12-07T22:03:00.000-06:00

here's to new Templates, which I created almost ENTIRELY BY MYSELF! Weee!I rock!

Went to see the Last Samurai eralier. It was pretty good. And I saw a preview for Troy and the Passion of Christ! Those made me mucho excited.

School tomorrow, blah.

This is it!

2003-12-06T18:21:00.000-06:00

I'm making a commitment to myself. I am going to stop swearing as much as I can, both in blog and in speech.

Why?

Because it's really starting to annoy me. I hate swearing, I really do, and the fact that it's become almost a second nature to me is driving me up a wall. I mean, how many seventeen year olds out there swear? An awful lot.

But how many seventeen year olds out there DON'T swear? I'd rather be in the minority in this one.

I mean, how can I be a witness if I'm a hypocrite? No one likes a hypocrite. And I'm proud to be a CHristian, but I'm not doing a very good job if I'm swearing.

And the funny thing is, I'm not swearing nearly as much as most people do. Which is a small comfort, but, you know.

I like being a good kid. I may rebel against certain people, but that's because I don't like them. But on the whole, I prefer to be considered trustworty, good, and a wonderful example. NOt only do I get into less trouble with my parents, but if I'm gonna be an example for the Lord, I should clean up my act.

Starting now.

Robitussin???

2003-12-06T15:17:00.000-06:00

Well, my right shift key doesn't work well. Oh well, I'll fix it eventually.

I got inspired by Niffers, and made a page on my website that's of me singing...hopefully I'll put up choir songs as well so it isn't totally bad.

And all my singing was done today, with me half sick.

Oh, joy. The high notes sound really bad, but otherwise, it's okay.

Plus the two songs with coughs in the middle. Heh.

Christmas Tunes and Phantom....

Have fun, you whippersnappers.

Thanks for the encouragement, Mom...

2003-12-06T12:46:00.000-06:00

So I woke up this morning feeling slightly under the weather (and I know exactly why. It's the damned temperature difference in my room), and mom came home 'round 12:30, came into my room asking about the grass on the car (er, get to that later), and then proclaimed loudly, "You look like crap! Come, look at yourself in the mirror!"

And I kind of just looked at her stupidly for a bit before she made me get up and look in the mirror, then she made me administer that nasty decongestant (which works, though) to myself (i hate that), and I had to take it in two gos since we don't have any of those nifty medicinal shot glasses. Not so good on me. I cringed, coughed, gulped water like I always do. I hate that crap. But at least the taste doesn't linger and it really does help. I can feel it even now.

But anyway, I thought it was weird mom saying I looked like crap, point blank. I can't get sick, people....*sigh*

About the car...*shhh* don't tell mom, cuz she thinks it's cuz I ripped up the lawn parking at lindsey's house when I parked in the driveway. I, um, accidentally drove off the road turning to go into her subdivision. I ended up normally in a ditch, and drove out, but damn it was freaky.

Lindsey's house rocked. Mom let me drive myself for the first time, and when I got there, Lindsey, Jake, Melissa, and Kari were taking quizzes on line, so I made them take the quiz I made in times long past. everyone got the same answer except Kari, who got an answer no one got before.

So we ran around LIndsey's neighborhood for awhile when JIll got there and JOhn left. We rang the doorbell at the house Lindsey's future Husband Ben (it's so gonna happen) was babysitting, and asked to use the bathroom. He wouldn't let us, and Jill accidentally made the little girl cry.

So after he made us leave, we knocked over those stupid reindeer made of christmas lights. It was great. We tried to do it to other people's, but they were staked into the ground.

And then we watched PIrates when Aly arrived and we got pizza (no cute pizza boy, though), and that was fun, fun times. Everyone except Jake and Lindsey (since they hadn't seen it), squealed when Captain Jack came on screen (and it was just the back of his head!). We assumed all the girls in residence into the Captain Jack fanclub, and I'm the only one who actually has him in my "harem" (though it's just a clone).

I love JOhnny Depp.

Anyway, after the movie, I had to leave for home, and I had to give Jack a ride. So we piled up into my van (*cringe* I should have kicked all the grass off, silly me), and took off, listening to Christmas tunes on 104.1. Jake wasn't annoying to drive with, and I was better this time than when we drove to Pick a Video with Ambyre following us. Since I accidentally missed Jake's house when we got there, we drove into Bri's street, turned around in her driveway, while Jake yelled, "Holla Bri!" or some such, and then drove back, where I let Jake out.

God, I love driving.

And the medicine is workin' lots better.

Anyway, came home, hung out on the internet, slept, and well you know the rest.

bangs head on keyboard

2003-12-03T16:07:00.000-06:00

For the love of jonas, can't we E VER EVER EVER keep furniture in place for a month? WHY?

All our christmas CDs (as well as all of our beatles and various various various other CDs) are in the garage...in the old entertainment center...facing the wall...with doors leaning against it thus making it impossible for a seventeen year old girl lacking strength to get to them.

Damn you all.

"When You're captured by pirates, always use Covergirl Everlast!"

2003-12-02T22:29:00.000-06:00

Ah, I love PoTC with all my heart and soul. And I still wanna become a pirate and marry Captain Jack Sparrow.

I <3 Johnny the Depp.

I got SOOOO many ideas for Misadventures of Madness, that I had to write them down. I can't write the chapter tonight, as my mom would kill me for staying up too late, but I'll definitely write it tomorrow. After I watch special features! Woot!

I have pretty much the rest of MoM planned, so that's great. Now just gotta finish writing it. To think, after this is one more short (hopefully only about six or so chapters) Fresca Files, and then i'm done... FOREVER!

Even though I love these puppies, I want to write something else for a change. Like my PoTC fanfic that's been floating around (Nicolette and Jack 4 eva!), my original pirate story, and perhaps another LoTR.

No, I"m not ambitious at all. The other LoTR would take place in Lorien before the War of the Ring, and involves the Brothers of Lorien, Haldir, Rumil and Orophin. HALDIR ROMANCE!!!!

YAAAAAAAY! NO BIG PROJECTS ON THE HORIZON (except finals). I AM SO HAPPY!

*skips off into the night to dream of sexy pirates.*

FOR THE LOVE OF THE PIRATES!

2003-12-02T17:23:00.000-06:00

Mom bought me my POTC DVD while at was school, bless her heart! I wasn't able to watch it yet, cuz of the young'un, savvy?

BUT I HAVE NO HOMEWORK!

That DVD is SO going to be watched in a bout

5.....4....3...2...1......

GOD BLESS JOHNNY DEPP!

So....

2003-11-30T23:03:00.000-06:00

Can anyone tell my why I found my copy of The Fellowship of the Ring now, not two and a half hours after I finished my report?

Anyone?

HALLELUJAH!

2003-11-30T20:38:00.000-06:00

I sacrificed a delcious authentic Thai Food experience in the heart of St. Louis, (as well as my mother's love), FOR THIS STUPID PAPER!

AND I'M DONE! And I got it on someone's authority that it is good and she wants to steal it fo rher paper next year, but she won't because she hates plagiarism as much as I do.

That makes me all warm and squishy inside.

I skipped dinner for that thing, lost sleep, went crazy... I need fudge.

Oh, and don't go see Gothika, because it sucks wombats.

2003-11-30T18:21:00.000-06:00

I am so effing screwed.

2003-11-30T17:02:00.000-06:00

Guess who's not going to be going to a college more than fifteen minutes away?

Me, that's who!

2003-11-30T12:44:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I found the disk!

Wooo....

EVIL!

2003-11-30T12:36:00.000-06:00

This research paper will be the DEATH OF ME!

Nightmares coupled with missing disks! LORD HAVE MERCY!

Benny and Joon

2003-11-29T00:31:00.000-06:00

I just watched the movie Benny and Joon, and guess what?

That's going down in time as one of my all time favorite movies. And guess who just so happens to be in it?

Why, Johnny Depp!

Okay, peoples, Sam is SO in my harem. I CALLED HIM FIIIIIRST! *hugs Sam*

Throughout the movie, everytime Sam did ANYTHING, practically, I'd say, "I love you Johnny.."

Seriously, Johnny Depp is a FANTASTIC actor. Don't believe me? Watch Benny and Joon or From Hell or any other movie with Johnny the Depp.

Sam is such a sweet character. I so envy the chick who played Joon. Not like half a million fangirls coveted Keira Knightly in Pirates of the Caribbean. But to act opposite Johnny Depp in that movie... wow.

And I didn't even mind when he whacked the potato with the tennis racket!

2003-11-28T17:06:00.000-06:00

Dammit! I WOULD have gotten over a 3.0 on my report card if Mr. H hadn't decided to pull something truly HEINOUS and give me an F in religion!

An F for the love of GOD!

So I didn't do one freaking assignment because i didn't even KNOW WE HAD ONE....jeez!It wasn't MY fault he decided to not give us a good announcement!

A's and B's in everything else! So i can PROVE that I'm not gonna fail in college, but noooooo...I had to get a freaking F in religion class, the ONE class you don't even have to TRY to pass to show my parents that, oh yes, I'm going to survive in college even though I'm failing one of the easiest classes EVER.

I don't think my grade ever EVER went below a high B in religion in all my high school years.

I may end up going to SIUE after all, goddammit.

The only good thing that would come out of that would be my mom would be just plain DELIGHTED I'd be close enough to home to NAG ENDLESSLy. Well no, that's the only good thing for her.

The only good thing for me would be that I could audition for Pirates of the Penzance which SIUE is going to produce the Spring of 2005.

How come EVERYONE (and I mean just about everyone that isn't one of my sympathetic friends) doesn't want me to go away to college? I know very well enough that I'm a pain to live with (of course, I'd be considerably less nasty to you once you stop being nasty to me), and that if you keep me here by force for another year or so would only increase my animosity towards everyone.

Is God trying to tell me something?

I don't even know if I want to go to St. Paul so badly anymore. At all, even, and that was the only application I was going to send out. What else can I do, besides SIUE that is far enough away from home to not be obligated to come home on the weekends? (unfortunately, ISU is too close for that, otherwise that'd be top of my list).

I might as well apply for Riverforest and be done with it, because from what I've gleaned from mom, she'd die a happy woman if i went there.

I hate this stupid college choice. I'm RIGHT back where I was at the beginning of it way back in Sophomore year. I have NO clue, and it's almost december, for the love of god. I have to make a choice soon, or I'm screwed.

I have a feeling I'm going to end up at SIUE or RF no matter what I do.

The choices made by my Godgiven free will ultimately lead me to my Fate...

2003-11-28T16:43:00.000-06:00

Hows's that for deep, eh? I contemplate this crap way too much (Well, not really crap, but it certainly isn't imperitave for my day to day life).

So, yesterday was Thanksgiving, and I enjoyed my self immensely (Besides getting PO'd at everyone because they decided to shift seats after I claimed one, and therefore leaving me chairless. Paul eventually grabbed a bar stool.). Mmm, Thanksgiving...great food.

After I stuffed myself silly, Jimmy Brandy and I went to go see The Hautned Mansion which was cute, but wasn't any Pirates of the Caribbean (is it wrong to say my favorite character was Edward Gracie? God, he's got SUCH the Catdragon Nyx thing goin' on...once again I'm babbling about characters that no one else has heard of before....). Speaking of PoTC, TUESDAY!!!!!

We saw one of those carboard standups at the theater, advertising a new live action version of Peter Pan set to come out at Christmas...WITH JASON ISAACS AS CAPTAIN HOOK!

Hold me closer, tendertron...

That right there made me want to see it. Badly.

Plus with Johnny the Depp (gah, I gotta stop doing that to people's last names...) playing Willy Wonka...

Anyway, we came home after admiring Jason as a Pirate Captian (yes, I have an unhealthy obsession with pirates, we all know this), and Brandy and I went to go rent some movies, and we watched Finding Nemo with Jake and Laura and Doug and Stephen. That movie was so adorable! I love it!

Jake and I ran to my room to begin Locked in Metro III: The Thanksgiving Edition which is just completely wacky. I love it.

We also took several pictures of each other with the digital camera and tweaked some of them in photoshop, but Jake had to go hom.

I started plotting a story called Perchance to Dream about a seventeen year old girl named Tabitha who loves everything fantasy (Sound familiar?). She's very introverted, and shy of her family who tease her incessantly about always being off in the clouds. She's hurt by it, because everyone except her Aunt Jamie think she's wasting her time, and she's also in her older sister's shadow. But then, as in true fantasy formula, Aunt Jamie gives Tabitha an unusual bracelet, and things just go on from there.

I'm not sure how i'm gonna get Tabitha into the fantasy world, but yes it does involve the bracelet. And she's going to realize that a fantasy world isn't always perfect and safe. But no, I'm not gonna pull a Labyrinth and have Tabitha ulitmately put aside fantasy the way Sarah does in the film, because my ending's gonna be TOTALLY DIFFERENT (and sadly devoid of any Goblin Kings).

I write too much, but for now, I'm concentrating on Angel of Music and my fanfics. I don't know when I'm gonna write PErchance to Dream, or the other story I have in mind about the jester, but I will eventually.

Anyway, it's almost five and I shoudl be working on my English paper.

Stolen from Ellabel

2003-11-27T08:56:00.000-06:00

- APPEARANCE -
hair: long, brownish, and currently oily (ewwww)!
eyes: brown
height: 5' 1/2"

-STYLE -
clothing: baggy jeans, big t-shirts for casual, long skirts and collared blouses for church, and for concerts and mallwalkin' and movies, my short black or plaid skirt, my plaid pants, my black tank top, safety pins, and my crochet duster. and for EVERYTHING, my new dark navy trenchcoat
music: oldies, classical, MxPx, RadioHead, Clay Aiken...so many others
body art: nothing, really

- RIGHT NOW -
wearing: baggy grey drawstring pants and white tanktop
listening to: silence
thinking of: my accident yesterday, and thanksgiving dinner today

- LAST THING YOU... -
bought: $5.09 dollars worth of gas...hey, i never got a reciept!
read: The Tale of Murasaki
watched on tv: Whose Line is it Anyway?

- EITHER/OR -
club or houseparty: houseparty, cuz I've never been to a club
tea or coffee: TEA!
achiever or slacker: depends on what i'm achieving or slacking off on!
beer or cider: cider is DEFINITELY the way to go (and I'm talking both apple cider and ale cider, the alcaholic stuff)
Cats or dogs: cats, all the way
single or taken: Single
pen or pencil: depends on my mood
gloves or mittens: gloves
food or candy: depends
cassette or cd: CD
coke or pepsi: pepsi
matches or a lighter: Zippo~
Rickie lake or oprah winfrey: n/a

- WHO DO YOU WANT TO... -
kill: oh the names...
hear from: Melanie or Jessica
be like: well, too many people I know let me down, so I wanna be like BRUCE CAMPBELL!
avoid: see "kill"

- LAST PERSON... AND WHEN? -
you talked to: Tora
you hugged: Darci
you instant messaged: Tora
you kissed: um, Thaddeus, cuz he's such an adorable one year old...:-)
who broke your heart: no one

- WHERE DO YOU -
eat: anywhere
dance: my room!
cry: my room
wish you were: Ireland

- HAVE YOU EVER... -
Dated one of your best friends? nope
Loved somebody so much it makes you cry? i hate that question, and no. I doubt I ever will, if the only reason I'm crying is because I love the person
Drank alcohol? yep.
Done drugs? nope
Broken the law? actually....
run away from home? never actually went through with it...
Broken a bone?nope
Cheated on a test? not that I remember, but i probably have
Skinny dipped? HELL NO!
Played Truth Or Dare? yesh...:-)
Flashed someone? no
Mooned Someone? i can't remember. probably
Kissed someone you didn't know? nope
Been on a talk show/game show? no, but my uncle was!
Been in a fight? yes
Ridden in a fire truck? no, but i've ridden in a police car!
Been on a plane? yes
Come close to dying? YES!
Cheated on your Boy/Girlfriend? no
Gave someone a piggy back/shoulder ride? yep
Eaten a worm/mud pie? nope
Swam in the ocean? yes
Had a nightmare/dream that made you wake up? um, not really

- WHAT IS... -
The most embarrassing CD in your collection? none, actually
Your favorite thing for breakfast? i don't eat breakfast
Your favorite thing for lunch? ravioli
Your favorite thing for dinner? Chicken 'n' dumplings
Your favorite Restaurant? Maxwell's

- ARE YOU... -
A Vegetarian: God, I'd die of meat withdrawal
Good At Sports: not really
Good at wakeboarding/snowboarding: never been
A Good Singer: i've been told either way
a Good Actor/Actress: I hope so
A deep sleeper: depends.
A Good Dancer: If I have choreography, I do pretty well
Shy: sometimes
Outgoing: sometimes
A good storyteller: I think its safe to say yes. :-)

Last words: Seatbelts save your life!

Holy Crap.

2003-11-26T18:33:00.000-06:00

Well, anyone remember when I said that if one more bad thing would happen I'd have a nervous breakdown?

Yeah, well, I lied.

I'm not going to go into details as of now about what happened, but I'll just say it involved a car, crappy steering, and a big ditch full of water. Darci and I are both fine, and so is the car (mostly) from what we could tell.

But jeez it was freaky.

Remember, everyone, seatbelts save your life. I'm serious here. Wearing a seat belt probably saved both of us from getting seriously injured.

I think the only good thing that came out of today was that there was a cute firefighter there to help us. He also knew who I was and I figured out that he was one of the store girls' (at the bakery) ex-boyfriend.

I'm gonna go play video games now.

Shakespeare, what a vessel of inspiration.

2003-11-26T12:13:00.000-06:00

Well dear readers, I've done it again.

I've created yet another character that I absolutely adore.

I gotta stop doin' this. In most cases, it ups my expectations for guys (not that that's necessarily a bad thing). HOw many guys that I created would I die to simply meet? Oh, about 90% of them.

While my new character isn't exactly my dream guy, I still love the guy to death. And he's only been in existance less than a day!

And as you read this, YES, he WAS inspired by Shakespeare's Touchstone, from As You Like It fame (who woulda saw THAT comin'?)

His name is Sage (ooo, joke on his name!),a nd he's a court jester in a world I have yet to create (It's sorta medieval-ish, and half magical, meaning there's magic, but most people don't know about it. Kinda like a Harry Potter or something of the sort). He doesn't look like the typical jester (meaning no make up and no quintessential jester hat and outfit), but he has the personality of one. He also reminds me of Malcolm, from the Kyrandia computer game series. Speaking of which, I'm gonna play one of those after I write this..

But he's also different, in that he's not exactly a fool. (Thus his name has even more depth now). The other main character in the story, who's official title is Lady of the Sparrows (no real name as of yet), doesn't like him and can't understand why he presents himself as a fool in fron tof the whole court and actually likes it. So Sage tells her several riddles which seem to have simple answers (but deeper meanings! oooh, can anyone sense a theme here?). So, Sparrow (as she is calleed), gets upset and ignores him.

But then...dun dun DUN! they're forced to go off on an adventure (TYPICALLY WONDERFUL) together that's all involved in magic and stuff. I still haven't worked out the details. *hugz Sage* Cute Jester-man.

I love writing, Ladies and Gents. More than anything.

Grah!

2003-11-25T21:04:00.000-06:00

I am so sick of people who DON'T GET IT!

Honestly, am I among those who DO?

C'mon people, USE COMMON SENSE!!!

I'm sorry, but the world in general just pisses me off. The large marjority! I mean, most of those idiots (i'm being careful in my words...i don't want to offend people reading this who i don't mean to offend) can't see past their nose! What is with the self centeredness of everyone? I mean, I'm no great humble person, but good freaking lord, at least I'm not asinine about most things!

Why can't people just open their eyes and see the simple truth of EVERYTHING?

That being said, I must say that today (despite getting a horrid headache after school) was quite awesome. As you like it was fantastic, and just makes me want to act in a play. Good plays and musicals will have that effect on me.

So, that's it. Nothing else to say, because I'm too ticked off.

I want to get away....

2003-11-24T22:34:00.000-06:00

Yes, another rambly, stream of consciousness deep thought babble post. I'm good at those, aren't I?

Anyway, I was contemplating putting my feelings from the last post into a poem, but I decided to elaborate further...or at least continue in that thread of thought.

So much has happened to me in the past three and a half years. So, so much. Nothing with this enormity ever happened in my fourteen years of life before high school. I went to Metro, and then everything changed.

I made so many friends my freshman year, which was by far (in terms of life changing events) probably one of my better years. Some of them left after that year, and some of them stayed.

I think the most significant thing that happened then was my brother getting married. It was a pretty easy year as years go, but it was still pretty big. In that I started high school and actually made friends.

Sophomore year, which I still maintain was the worst year in my life, was just so unbearable. Looking back, I still wonder how i made it through and only be sortof messed up, instead of completely messed up. So many deaths...so much tragedy. I once had a conversation with someone about bad things happening at once. She says she likes things to happen all at once, and I like them spread out.

Maybe she hasn't experienced bad things like I have. But truly, I know as well as a few other people, that if enough bad things happen, it can send you (truly, almost anyone, i think) over the edge. Over and completely down the cliff. And the way bad things happen in my life, I pray the grouping of bad things slows down, because I don't know how strong I'll be, even as I grow older, to withstand them. I'm not a strong person. Stubborn, but certainly not strong.

Sophomore year was just... it was a nightmare of a year. A living, waking nightmare.

Junior year was slightly worse than freshman year, not counting getting kicked out of the musical. I had my parents mad at me so often. And all spring and summer (from sophomore to junior year), someone let me down. Very, very hard.

I still can't look at Laura in that sisterly-adoration way I did when I was younger. I never will be able to. Because of who she turned into, I can't respect her. At all. Everythin gshe does, almost annoys me. I have no truly conceivable reason for not letting her wear my clothes (ignoring the fact that she leaves them scattered around my room), but I do NOT want her wearing my clothes. At All. I don't like spending time with her, because the things she says and the things she tries to get me to believe an dthe way she wants me to think...I just can't agree. It makes me want to hit her and run off and be disgustingly Conservative REpublican (i'm conservative, but not necessarily purely republican. I'm more independent, THANK YOU VERY MUCH).

I use to consider her a role model, but every time I think of that, I'm disgusted. It's an evil thing to say, but I hope no one takes her as a role model. I love my sister, of course, because she is my sister. But I don't like her, or really care for her much. I greatly prefer my brothers.

Summer was a time for disappointment, too, between Junior and Senior year. I'm not going to go into detail, but it wasn't just full of disappointment. sadness and griefe have been constant companions for years now.

And now this whole thing. I just want to hide away from the cold world and wrap myself up in the blankets of my fantasy worlds. I admit it, I freely admit it, I want to escape into a fantasy world. Now, fantasy worlds are rarely better and hardly perfect.

But I want to create a world where I can live in peace with a dragon or two, where no one can hurt me, where everything can be taken at face value (which rarely happens in my fantasy stories, as the case may be). I just want to be a child again, where you could be friends with anyone you wanted to. i want to be a child, at the age where looks and ways don't matter.

I just want to hide away from it all. I've had enough. I've had enough for one lifetime, and I'm only seventeen.

And that's the real tragedy.

My only hope is college, which is so many months away. And college will certainly open up the door to a whole new host of people to disappoint me.

Aren't I the cynical and pessimistic one?

I just want to hide away from the world.

2003-11-24T22:23:00.000-06:00

You know, i've pretty much decided (in terms of this whole big thing that his been in the back of my mind since last week), that I don't know what to think, that I won't make up my mind any time soon, and I won't let people tell me what to think.

All in all, I've come to the conclusion that no matter how well you know a person, they can still surprise you, for good or for ill. There's always a part of yourself that you keep hidden away from others. I know I do it, with everyone. There's things in my heart that I don't tell anyone, and that only God knows. But what I keep in there, be it good or bad, wouldn't really hurt anyone if it came to light. But how many people out there, who's hidden section of their heart, is so harmless? Aren't we all sinners deep down?

Don't we all deserve the death our Lord took?

Finally, I'm just going to say this. I've always been (for most people), delightfully naive about people. I think the best out of people most people don't, when I hardly know them. And almost every time (with a few exceptions), I've been let down at the speed of light and hit rock bottom. It's going to be very hard for me to trust people at face value from now on.

And I'm not sure that's a good thing.

I DID IT!

2003-11-24T22:22:00.000-06:00

I finishe dmy novel!

I actually finished it way earlier, but blogger wasn't working, difficult thing.

I am a happy person. Seriously...*hugs novel* I wuuuuuv you!

Now, onto the fanfic goodness!@

Woot!

2003-11-23T16:19:00.000-06:00

Because of my lack of computer and able to access my files, I had a short three day set back of NaNoWriMo last week. But thankfully, my computer was up and running on Friday, and I was able to write like a demon on my NaNo.

I am now at 42,025, which will hopeful go up to 45K tonight if I have anything to do about it (after I do my English, of course). 3K isn't actually all that hard, so WOOT!

Kids, we're into the last stretch I expect to be done with NaNo by thanksgiving. Partly cuz I'm goin' to Darci's pretty soon after the School Thang on Tuesday, and I might have to work on Wednesday.

Afterall, what's 7,975 words when I can write so much at one time?

It's at time slike this that I love being me.

Dude!

2003-11-21T21:14:00.000-06:00

I just heard a slightly reliable rumor that a new version of Charlie and the Chocolate factory is either gonna be made or is being made, with Tim Burton directing and....

my HERO, the sexy Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka.

Now, isn't that an interesting concept?

URGH!

2003-11-21T20:08:00.000-06:00

Well, after about three days with my computer on the fritz, I'm finally back and feeling a little better.

THis whole thing is still looming ominously, but I'm doing pretty well in the ignoring it for now department.

On the bright side, I got a cell phone. i didn't want one, but it was forced upon me (i didn't fight very hard). It's a pretty nifty little thing. And I mean little. Smaller than mom's old phone (she got a new one too). YOu can play games on it, and it's got a cool ringer (can't remember the name), which I'm going to change to something truly annoying and awesome in about a month. Also, in about a month, I'm changing my fruity, polite voicemail greeting to something hilariously rude, like, "I'm unavailable. What do you want?" or "You've reached Catherine's cell phone. Either I am unavailable, or I just don't like you. Leave a message."

Great fun.

If you want to know my number (and are one of my local friends) email me or message me and I"ll give it to ya.

Everything's going wrong...

2003-11-20T16:19:00.000-06:00

i just want to say, that with all my heart and soul, I don't want to believe it. I don't even think I can believe it.

I talked a bit with my chem teacher, who knew him for like six years ,and she agrees with me whole heartedly.

i talked with mom about it on the way home. She doesn't know what to believe either.

His arraignment was supposed to be today, and I don't know what I'll do if he pleads not guilty, but if he pleads guilty...

Thank God for three day weekends.

Pray for us all.

Oh my god

2003-11-19T17:04:00.000-06:00

Bri told me at the same time Melissa called...

holy shit holy shitholy shit holy shitholy shit holy shitholy shit holy shitholy shit holy shitholy shit holy shit...

I just called my mom... stuttered like crazy...

I cannot believe he'd do something like that. I cannot.

Oh, god, I hope hope hope he isn't guilty...

Oh god...

2003-11-19T16:57:00.000-06:00

I think I am probably one of the most screwed up people...

And I don't think ANYONE except myself and God knows how truly screwed up I am.

Either way, today was just crappy. And for once, it has nothing to do with my family, which I can't tell is good or not.

Well, of course, what happened isn't good, but it doesn't have anythin to do with my family.

Metro is a freakin' rumor mill, an dI hate it, but there's nothing i can do about it except wait and see what this all is about.

And, oh Lord, I'm prayin' and hopin' very strange things. I'm not going to tell you what's so strange about it, because you'll label me a freak, I know it. Well, not that i care about labels, but ya know.

I'm just wondering if God has anything else in store for me this week. I sure hope not. I've had about enough BS for one lifetime, all this week.

I hate being screwe dup, but i guess everything that's been happening to me is all a part of life. I can't help any of it, at all. I have absolutely no control over any of these situation and it scares me. I just want to run off to Australia, or something. Far away from here.

I wanna get away.

2003-11-19T15:32:00.000-06:00

Oh dear lord, when will it ever end?

And I thought that I"d finally have a respite.

I swear, if anything else happens, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.

siiiigh

2003-11-18T18:30:00.000-06:00

I just want to say, that Johnny Depp is my hero.

These facts SHOULD have been obvious...

2003-11-18T15:42:00.000-06:00

1. I don't give a crap abou tthe basement, but if you would have ASKED, I would have watched the kid, morons.

2. I'm perfectly willing to work in the bakery (espeically if you actually pay me this time), just as long as I don't have to wait on customers.

3. There's no way in hell you're dictating where I"m going to go to college.

4. If you even so much as mention stopping guitar lessons, I will CUSS YOU OUT, then get a job and pay for my own lessons.

5. Of course I'm going to be rude to you if you freaking idiots are rude to me.

6. My room is NOT the Women's section of JC Penney. So don't come in and try my clothes on WITHOUT FREAKING ASKING! I probably wouldn't have let you anyway, but it would ahve been a nice gesture. Like my clothes would fit anyone except me anyway.

7. If you MUST come inm and try clothes on without asking (thus earning a scathing string of angry babble), don't leave YOUR clothes strewn about. On second thought, don't leave my clothes strewn about either.

8. C's do not signify that I"m going to fail at college.

9. I hate you all.

I think the only highlgiht of my day, besides actually remembering to take in my required materials, getting my homework done,and not nearly killing anyone (a la student choppler/planner), was that Kyle S. called me a genius in chemistry.

Pure bull, but at least someone doesn't htink I'm an idiot. I'm still trying to figure out how he came to that conclusion (I didn' tshow anyone my 104% test). Oh well, maybe it was the fact that Mrs. VW told everyone I ruin the curve a few weeks ago.

I'm gonna go brood and write.

It's never enough, is it?

2003-11-17T15:35:00.000-06:00

I found out this morning that Grandma and Grandpa are finally kicking out the squatting bums (aka my uncles), which is a good thing, but the bad thing is they're selling their house and moving into a retirement community.

I'll never see that house again.

They're selling it in March and moving in April. As if that wasn't bad enough, i just had to go and have so many good memories, didn't I? And never have a chance to go see the house, walk through it, and really reinforce those memories one last time.

I love that house, and I"ll never run through it again to get to the bathroom after a ten hour drive. I'll never play with the old fashioned vent, wishing the Grandparents hadn't blocked it with the new ceiling. I'll never be able to find my name inscribed in the upstairs bedroom. I'll never be able to sit on their couch and watch Twilight Zone with Jimmy. I'll never be able to gaze at Grandpa's beautiful garden, or sit on the front porch with the bad astro turf and wish I lived there. I'll never be able to stick Black Cats and fire crackers in the bark of the old tree and watch the bark explode.

I'll never be able to do any of those things.

And what's worse yet, mom's having Doug tak eout yet another freaking wall in this stupid house. While simultaneously redoing the bathroom. Goddammit, why don't we just tear down this stupid house and rebuild it from the ground up? Cuz at least then I'd get to live in a freaking house that isn't CONSTANTLY having contstruction. Do you know how freaking sick I am of construction? Especially on something like the bathroom I use all the time or the freaking kitchen!!!! I AM SO FREAKING SICK OF IT!! Why coudln't they wait nine months to do any of this? Why?

And not only that, mom made threats that I might not get to go to CSP. Fuck that, I say. I'll be 18, and can do whatever the hell I want to do. I never asked you to pay tuition for me. I'll pull out a student loan, pay my own freaking way, and work myself like a dog to be completely fucking independent of you people.

Either that or I'll end up going to ISU. If mom does put the kabash on Minnesota, and I can't pull off a loan, I am so going there. Darci woudl be happy. That's my only other choice, since mome would DEFINITELY not let me go to UIC if she won't let me go to CSP.

I'm so pissed right now, you wouldn't believe. John teasingly pushed my planner a bit in study hall as he was walking past for accounting, so I chucked it at him and missed by a hair. And I don't do things like that go John.

This week sucks ASS and its only monday.

Sometimes, I wish this world would end...

2003-11-16T21:29:00.000-06:00

I suppose it's a bad thing for wanting to kick anyone and anybody right now. I'm just in SUCH a pissy mood.

I hate my parents for expecting too much of me and NOT LISTENING to me when i say i need to do something (not want, need. Dammit, and I'm not gonna get a grade tomorrow, and mr. Henschen's gonna get even more furstrated with me. Dammit, i'll just take that stupid TROUBLE game if we got all the pieces). I hate them for being idiots and I hate them for never listening and always going back on their word, and praising the eldest child as if she were some God.

I hate my sister for being bitchy, and for not listening to me when I tell her to leave her alone. I hate her for being the way she is, for falling away from God, for not baptizing the baby. I hate her for jumping to conclusions, and I hate her for trying to talk me into doing things that I do not want to do.

I hate Paul for making fun of me and not stopping it when he goes too far I hate him for being an idiot who moves out once I finally get around to getting my liscense for no other reason than not having to be under the paren'ts rule and leaving me alone. I hate him for not moving away for college, and I hate him for being just my brother.

I hate Jimmy for not using his intelligence the way he should. Dammit, he could have gone so far, so much farther than me, and he actually likes math. How come I can appreciate his knowledge and not he?

And I hate myself for only being 17. I hate myself for not being in college already. i hate myself for being overweight, and ugly, and I hate myself for not doing my homework when I shoul.d I hate myself for not forcing the fall play on Mr. K, and i hate myself for disliking certain people who do not deserve to be disliked, like friends who are faithful.

And I hate myself for being condescending and arrogant. I hate myself for thinking I'm good at anything, except maybe writing.

Because everything I love...guitar, singing, drawing, acting...I suck at.

Why do I even try anymore?

I hate everything.

Bored and annoyed

2003-11-16T17:42:00.000-06:00

Name: Catherine
Piercings: Two holes in both ears
Tattoos: nope
Height: 5’1/2”
Hair color: brownish
Length: past my waist
Birthday: August 14
Relationship Status: single
School: Metro

LAST...
Movie you rented: Crybaby, Evil Dead 2, Pumpkin Head, Beverly Hill Ninja, and Mallrats…. All in one go
Movie you bought: The Lost Boys
Song you listened to: "Punk Rawk Show” by MxPx
Song that was stuck in your head: Still, Still, Still, the devil song
CD you listened to: I dunno
Person you've called: Melissa
Person that's called you: Eric, Melissa’s boyfriend, strangely enough. Boy couldn’t find my house

DO...
You wish you could live somewhere else: hell, yes
You believe in online dating: nope
Others find you attractive: nope
You want more piercings: yes
You drink: nope
You do drugs: nope
You smoke: nope
You write in cursive or print: strange mixture of both
You carry a donor card: on my driver’s license
You have long distance relationships: nope
You use people: ah, no
You kill people: I freakin’ wish
You believe in teenage smoking: I don’t even believe in smoking in general
You drive drunk: nope
You have a gay/lesbian relationship: I don’t believe in that
You watch soap operas: When I need a good laugh, I’ll watch “Days of Our LiveS” with my mom

FAVORITE...
Food: Chicken ‘n’ Dumplings
Song: I cani’t even begin to choose
Thing to do: write
Thing to talk about: books and movies
Sports: I’ll play volleyball, and most sports if it’s a pick up game where rules are kind of a moot point, but otherwise, I despise them
Drink: I’ll have communion wine
Movie: The Princess Bride, of all time. Recently seen, From Hell

HAVE YOU...
Ever cried over a guy: well, a man, when he died. Does that count?
Ever lied to someone: yep
Ever been in a fist fight: just scuffles with the brother person
Ever been arrested: nope

NUMBER...
of times I have been in love? N/a. I’ve never been in love, except with fictional characters.
of times I have had my heart broken? never
of hearts I have broken? Um, not sure. One? If Stalker AOK’s heart was broken I didn’t talke to him when he called
of girls I have kissed? none
of drugs taken illegally? none
of things in my past that I regret? Hah, like I’d say being nasty to people. I’d rather say NOT being nasty ENOUGH

FAVORITE...
Disney movie: Beauty and the Beast
Scent: Plumeria. Or Chocolate
Word: I have quite an obsession with the word Crap
Nickname: Jonas
Guy name: um…I really like the name Dante, which was totally out of the blue
Girl name: Rochelle?
Eye color: green
Flower: I don’t much like flowers enough to have a favorite
Piercing: hmm…I’d have to go with Darci and say either one earring or an eyebrow ring

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
Pretty: no
Funny: only when I write and don’t try to hard
Hot: hell no
Friendly: when I’m in the mood
Ugly: perhaps not
Lovable: nope. I’m too prickly
Pessimistic: sometimes
Optimistic: heck no
Caring: depends
Sweet: nope
Dorky: heck ya

RANDOM...
Spell your last name back wards: I’m not copying Darci, and though I think spelling my last name backwards is EXCEEDINGLY amusing, no
The story behind your user name: Username? I have a screenname, a penname…maybe a username in like one place, but I’m NOT giving the story behind my username. It would takea ges and ages.
Are you straight? yes
Where do you live? In a place I want to GET AWAY FROM
4 words that sum you up: short, creative, condescending, annoyed

DESCRIBE YOUR...
Wallet: black leather
Hairbrush: um, purple?
Toothbrush: orange
Jewelery worn daily: dragon necklace
Pillow cover: purple with lighter leaves
Blanket: see above
Coffee cup: Powerpuff Girls
Sunglasses: black plastic frames, red lenses
Shoes: I have too many pairs, but my favorites are my flaming high tops
Handbag: army greenish
Favorite top: It’s a tough draw between my “kicking squealing Gucci little Piggy” Radiohead T-shirt and my “Kiss Me I’m a PiratE” shirt
CD in stereo right now: don’t got one in
What you are wearing now: black chinese silk-like pants, black long sleeved collared shirt
Make up: none

WHO or WHAT (was/is/are)..
In my mouth: TONGUE~ Mine, of course
In my head: how much I hate my family
Wishing: I was away at college write now
After this: NaNo!
Talking to: keine man
Eating: not a thing
If you could get away with it and murder anyone, who and for what reason? Oh, the many people…
Person you wish you could see right now: DAAAAAARCI! And Jessica and Melanie, next.
Is next to you: my closet
Thing you're looking forward to in this up coming month: Certain people leaving
Do you like candles: yesh
Do you like hot wax: um, sure…
Do you like incense: yes
Do you believe in love: why the heck not?
Do you believe in soul mates: maybe
Do you believe in love at first sight: no
Do you believe in forgiveness: yes
Do you believe in God: yes
Who is your worst enemy? Harold, the damnable computer
What is the latest you've ever stayed up: I’ve pulled an all nighter once, and dind’ tgo to bed until late the next night
Can you eat with chopsticks: Yep

I hate this...

2003-11-16T17:16:00.000-06:00

I cannot freaking WAIT until next fall, then I can pull EXACTLY what the "beloved sister of mine" pulled.

Leaving and never freaking coming back.

Except she DID come back, with a freaking bastard kid.

I hate this stupid family, and I cannot freaking wait until i'm not obligated by LAW to stay here.

Grr..

2003-11-16T15:31:00.000-06:00

How the hell does, "I need to take in a game FOR A GRADE into religion class because we're studying the Stages of life. It' needs to be for like, kindergarten age. This is FOR A GRADE!! TOMORROW"

Translate into, "Game....religion class."

Damn her.

Procrastination is an art...

2003-11-12T15:47:00.000-06:00

Instead of working diligently on Locked in Metro II or even upping the word count on my NaNo, I happen to be playing Kyrandia. And not just any Kyrandia (like the second, which is the easiest), oh no. I'm playing the first one. The one where you have to pull out the graph paper and map out the entire caves to make sure you don't miss a freaking thing.

Which happens to be the most time consuming part of the game.

Why do I do this to myself? You might ask.

The answer is:

Because I have no life.

God, sometimes I love being me.

I'm not a parent!!

2003-11-11T12:55:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I walk into the kitchen at approximately 10:30 this morning, because, hey, stupid jackhammer woke me up (Doug's redoing the other bathroom now...IT WON'T END), and both Doug and Laura are in the kitchen, doing kitchen-y things. Doug's playing with Thaddeus, who's on the floor.

As soon as I'm noticed, Laura pipes up, "Hey, Kate, change Thaddeus' diaper. It's poopie."

"Yeah Kate," Doug said. "Please?"

I just gave them a Look (yes, a Look), grabbed the comics and started reading the paper. I didn't answer them at all.

And guess what? This wasn't the first time they told me to change it (i woudln't have done it if they asked, but it would have been nice), and Doug's been the only one to say please.

Um, hello? You both weren't doing ANYTHING, and have obviously been up awhile, so why does the Diaper-changey-ness get thrust onto me?

Don't get me wrong, if they were actually busy and coudln't have stopped what they were doing, i would have changed the diaper, but I had just woken up. And they were sitting around talking.

I'm not a babysitter, I don't do baby-sitting things. Really. I hate babysitting. I'll play with Thaddeus and stuff, but that's cuz he's my nephew. I won't babysit him, because i hate it. I won't even do it for money. That's how much I hate babysitting.

Note to self: Never have children.

Never Better

2003-11-10T18:47:00.000-06:00

A certain conversation in a certain NaNo Novel has gotten me thinking about everything. I dunno. Contemplation is one of my big things. I think to much, that I know.

I was talking to Meaghan before English about my party, and about how I didn't think Mo would be able to come (which sucks, since well...she's MO! and Mo, I'm making you a special Christmas Present because you're so awesome and you bought me a cool birthday present and all that), and Meaghan made a joke about how Mo always ditches our parties for Nate (since Mo has a date this weekend). Meaghan wasn't serious, just to let you know. But I told her anyway that I understood why Mo would skip out on a party to be with her bf. I mean, we have parties all the time (kinda) and we see each other every day. And she doesn't get to see Nate often at all, not like BFs and GFs should.

So I was thinking about that just now (and don't ask me how it ties into a religious debate in my NaNo.... ask not the inner workings of my mind, please), and I was thinking about how not-jealous I get of people for having boyfriends. I mean, I could even have a raging crush on a guy, and he'll get a girlfriend, and I won't even really freak out (yes, this HAS happened before). I'd just be happy for the girl because I mean, if I have a crush on him, he can't be to bad, eh? (I mean, since i don't have too many crushes or make them easily). And if a girl drops the guy for little reason, then I feel really bad fo rthe guy and get angry at the girl for not realizing what she had (yes, that has happened before as well).

So instead of getting jealous that either my friend is ditching me for a guy (which really hasn't happened like it sounds) or that some girl is dating a guy i like, I get happy for them instead.

I am such a freak and I love it.

But moving onto other things other than relationships (which seems to be on EVERYONE's mind lately)...

How about friends? Friends are the best things ever. I could not imagine what my life would be like without the friends I've made in my 3+ years in high school. Most of my friends have the same values and morals I do, and that makes it easy for all of us to throw a party and have fun together. We also have (unfortunately) the same type of humor, which I'm wondering if it means we're insane or not. Sure, we may grate on each others nerves once or twice, but that's bound to happen with any two people you happen to throw together. Mostly, we're just a fun-loving bunch of geeks who have nothing better to do than read vampire novels, drive around in John's SUV like maniacs, watch cheesy horror movies, and tease each other like the dickens.

I can live without romantic love. I can't live without friendship. I may be an introvert of a sort (in that I hate living with people and that I want a lot of time alone), but without my friends my life wouldn't be worth living.

It's like I told Darci.... We sure as hell won't live as apartment roommates, but we'll live at least on the same floor (or even right above one another). And we'll be at each other's apartments ALL THE FREAKING TIME making Macaroni and Cheese, singing Beatles songs, and watching MST3K until the crack of dawn.

Nothing says friendship like being able to have such simple pleasures as that, and wanting to do them together. (besides, watching MST is always more fun with at least one other person).

There are many dreams I have for my life. Becoming a novelist, living in Chicago for several years, and possibly moving to the Rocky Mountains when I get older (IF...i still plan on dying single at age 30-something in a bomb shelter whilst listening to "Yellow Submarine" on repeat.... note to self, tell Kurt this and see his reaction...). I also dream of going to college and getting good grades and having fun those four or so years...and I also dream of owning thousands of books and reading until the day I die.

But perhaps, one of the things I want more than anything else (maybe even more than becoming an author), is that I never, EVER want to lose my friends, especially certain best friends who know who they are.

Because a world without friendship is a cold world indeed.

Things to Do....

2003-11-10T17:26:00.000-06:00

1. Call Melissa about Party and invite her and Kari
2. Make sure everyone knows said party is on Friday (sorry mo, jill. Maybe next time, eh?)
3. Contact Katie about aforementioned party.
4. Buy junk food (NON-ATKINS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH) for the party
5. Buy disposable cameras and demand a REAL camera for Christmas
6. Return Zoolander tomorrow
7. Practice Guitar
8. Rent Evil Dead 2 and Rear Window before Friday Evening
9. Finish Fellowship of the Ring
10. WORK ON PAPER!!!
11. Finish The Killing Dance
12. Fix scanner/printer/NETSCAPE!!/EVERYTHING ELSE ELECTRONIC!
13. Demand that the upstairs shower be finished because, dag nabbit, showering in the basement shower SUCKS WOMBATS!
14. Clean Room
15. Write like a demon on my NaNo.
16. Watch the rest of High Fidelity

Guess which ones I'm going to do tonight??

(here's a hint.... 11, 13, and 16)

NaNoWriMo....you steal my soul.

2003-11-09T22:05:00.000-06:00

So I just finished watching this interesting French movie Amelie, and It TOTALLY inspired me. I love that kind of romance. Quirky, really.

And I want to write!

And not Tsarina the Just but something else, since that movie inspired me to write something esle (non-gun violence).

Sigh. I can't write something else with a clear conscience until December, no matter HOW far I am on my novel.

Sigh ness.

2003-11-08T20:50:00.000-06:00

I have the shortest temper on the face of this earth. Oh well, it's part of what makes me me.

And to answer my mom's question of, "So you're only nasty to the ones you love?"

Nope. That's not quite the requirement for me being nasty. I'm only nasty to my FAMILY (key word: family. not key word: love) because I don't give a flipping wombat if you hate me and get mad at me.

I'm not nasty to My FRIENDS because a) they hardly ever do anything to piss me off and b) i hate being mad at my friends and I hate having them mad at me.

So, in essence, I hate having to live with you people, and I will LET you know. As I said, i don't give a flipping wombat if I'm nasty to you.

And if you think that's bad, Just wait, Mother dearest. Just wait until I'm past eighteen and no longer live at home (meaning, no longer coming home for school breaks).

Just you freakin' wait...

DAMMIT!

2003-11-08T20:42:00.000-06:00

Can this damned family NOT keep furniture in place for longer than two fucking weeks?

I DO have a freaking reason why I get PISSED everytime someone moves furniture. Because everythings SCREWED up, especially when you move the damned television.

She could NOT keep the damned television in the basement in place could she? No, she had to move it to a completely different wall, which was fucked up enough in the first place. No, she had to MOVE IT AGAIN the same day, and unhook every damn thing (and she did this when I was in the middle of watching a movie. I had to leave because she wanted to freakin' move it) and then only plug in the TV. Now NONE Of the other power cords reach the outlets, and we have an outlet on each fucking wall in that basement.

Dammit, people, STOP FUCKING WITH EVERYTHING!

It was freaking FINE before you moved it, and it doesn't even look AS NICE as it was before.

I swear, I fucking swear, if I ever get my own place, I put the furniture in, IT WILL NOT MOVE FOR ANY OTHER REASON THAN ACCESSIBILITY AND IF I GET MORE FURNITURE!!!

I REALLY hate my family.

19064 and counting...

2003-11-08T13:36:00.000-06:00

It's insane. I've got over nineteen thousand words. I feel special or something. I hope to get at least twenty thousand before I quit for this session. After that I'll be five thousand away from half there.

Weekends are GREAT for this, because school sucks.

And I heard someone say the trick to this was the beginning. Well, it wasn't for me. I got like 2,000 in such a short frame of time (no, not at once, actually). Beginnings must be easy for me. I'm no longer as stressed about the time issue that I was at first. I mean, I'm way over a third there, and it's only the eighth. It's insane, I tell you. Darci says that means I'm a writer or something. I guess this is good for in the future, if I have strict deadlines (I'm wondering now if deadlines are a good thing or a bad thing).

I've never written this much in only eight days. I have 35 pages so far in all. That's kind of impressive. But I suppose when I'm a famous author, I'll be like, "Thirty-five? That's child's play!" Or maybe not. Either way, I'm impressed now and that's the important thing.

Well, excuse me, I have a thousand words to write.

I want Agent Elrond...

2003-11-07T23:02:00.000-06:00

Well, today has been intresting. Went to school, did schooly things. Came homem, did homey things.

Then I went to the Matrix Revolutions. I don't care what ANYONE says...I loved it. But then again, I'm one of those weirdos who loves almost all movies, and if not all movies, then I love watching all movies. I'm a fluke, what can I say. And who said there wasn't any fighting in it? did they SEE the huge ass battle with the Sentinels in Zion? Apparantly not. And the final battle scene between Agent Smith (whom I keep calling Agent Elrond) and Neo was just spectacular. I wanna fly.

And I totally guessed who was gonna die (someone told me the number) pretty early on (well, compared to those who didn't know anyone was gonna die. Oops). Still sad though. But, well...it makes an interesting story. It's like Harry Potter 5. I can't get mad for who got killed off. Because I've killed off certain characters (main, favorites, minor....you NAME it) that would probably get me yelled at.

And yet, it doesn't pull a Les Miserables either, which is good. (Les Mis, in that FOUR PEOPLE SURVIVE in the freaking play).

And then I went home (after going out the entrance of Showplace's parking lot.), but first stopping by Pick-A-Video to rent Rear Window, which unfortunately was packed up for a week or so for renevations. Sad face. So I rented Zoolander although looking back, I realized I shoulda sprung for High Fidelity or Boondock Saints. It's not like i"m not seventeen.

And I had to pay one of my brother's late fees. Darnit. Or was it mine? I coulda swore I turned in A Mighty Wind on time...

Oh well. I got back into the blasted van to drive back home, when I think I must've put the damn thing in neutral (though I don't see how that was possible) because the brake pedal wouldn't work. It just wouldn't push down. So I turned off the engine completely, then turned it back on. It iddn't work for a second, and then it did. I hate my van.

Now I am here, wondering if I should write the Matrix Challenge. I don't feel like it. I don't even feel like writing my NaNoWriMo. I just wanna go to bed and think about Matrixy things and Agent Elrond. Cuz he's uber cool.

I wish Jake and I could watch Rear Window tomorrow....but no.

GRR!

2003-11-06T15:35:00.000-06:00

Apparantly, "JUST FORGET IT!"

Means, "Keep on PRYING until you completely PISS Catherine off, and then YELL at her even though she told you to FORGET IT!"

OH yeah, and "I need to go to Wal-mart and take back movies, need anything from the store?"

means, "EVERYONE COME ON! IT"S A FREAKING FAMILY AFFAIR!"

I hate my family.

2003-11-04T15:44:00.000-06:00

I GOT IT!

I GOT MY LICENSE!!!! (and I can spell license now, too).

Today is happy.

10,097, and counting...

2003-11-03T21:57:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm barely over 1/5 finished with my novel.

And it's only November Third. And I thought this was going to be hard. I'm amazed, really.

I REAALLY write too much, but what can I say? I am so drawn to Sezja and Daniel's characters. And how they play with each other. Sezja practically taunts Daniel, and Daniel doesn't seem to be dancing into her hands. He's doing a dance of his own, with reasons that are not quite explained.

And then there's Deegan...I have plans for Deegan.

I can't wait to introduce Ivanov, Arkady, Keefe and Malcolm O'Connor (damn, they rule. Totally based on Connor and Murphy from Boondock Saints only not as "pure hearted" in a sense), and Leonardo.

Lots of ethnicity. And lots of shooting.

I think next NaNoWriMo, or even before, I'll hafta write about Keefe and Malcolm. They rule, basically, the Irish crime rings in the City where all this takes place. They don't use assassins, at all. They don't off anyone, they're on friendly terms with all the other mob bosses, and they have a truly unusual circle of protection in the city. If anything, they're the cleanest of the bunch. They're just....AWESOME! And they haven't even shown up yet.

Anyway, today was good, I s'pose. Boring, except for the college representative from St. Paul. Talked to her for most of Math of Money, was happy. I think i'm going to end up there. Paul's going to take me to visit, supposedly.

Not much else really happened, now that I think. Nothing interesting anyway.

Am going to take the driver's test tomorrow, espeically since it's early dismissal.

Watched the rest of From Hell with the brother figure. Damn, thatmovie's good. And sad, really. Johnny Depp is STUNNING. That man is such an amazing actor.

I <3 Inspector Evaline's (i dont' know how to spell it) Cockney. And He gets brownie points for not actually "playing in the cabbage patch" with the prostitute (a nice prostitute, though.). And extra brownie points for the awesome kissing scene. I liked it. It's perfect. It reminds me of my romance scenes. Or at least how I like them.

I love that movie. It's so good. Jack the Ripper...is creepy (when you find out who it really is). Watch it. I command you.

And verily, you shall love the Sexay Depp.

In other things....My sister person is coming to visit either tomorrow or the day after, with Dougie. That means...NEPHEW THADDEUS!

I can't wait. I'm going to go nuts with the camera. And the Auntie stuff. Heh. I should make Laura come to school at three some day and show the stud off (Thad, not Laura).

It's going to be an interesting rest of the month.

Why does this not surprise me?

2003-11-03T21:07:00.000-06:00

The World Is MINE! by Demonac
Name:
You will conquer:	the Entire Internet (except for that PS2 Emulator you wanted).
Your title will be:	Colonel
You will succeed by:	A plot hole.
Your Enforcers will be:	Nanobots (nobody can stop nanobots).
Your first act as ruler:	Have your Home Town wiped from the face of the Earth.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Dammit!

2003-11-01T16:32:00.000-06:00

I've yelled at mom for two straight weeks to do the laundry, but she freaking HASN"T!

SO all I have to wear are jeans (not so bad) and either very summery shirts, or very wintery shirts.

NO T-SHIRTS At ALL!

GAAAH!

Woah!

2003-11-01T15:19:00.000-06:00

I just found my black framed, red lensed sunglasses!

I THOUGHT I LOST THEM YEARS AGO!

*does frantic happy dance*

STOP! I SEE STAKES!

2003-11-01T14:55:00.000-06:00

Wow...last night was a whole big bag of fun! (and candy)

Despite a temporary damper on my mood thanks to DMV mix ups (waiting around for 50 minutes before you realize you don't have everything required for your liscense SUCKS), I had a WONDERFUL time.

I left for lindseys at like, 5:30, I believe (I didn't eat anything), armed with From Hell that Paul rented for me because they didn't have Evil Dead 2. We never watched it though.

John was the only one at lindseys, so we hung around, half in costume, and screwed around with scrap wood, trying to make me a stake for my costume. John and I put on fake wigs (John's was Austin Powers-like, mine was a rainbow clown wig), and sequined head band things, and we all left for Jill's. Of course, we didn't notice that the road we were on wasn't for through traffic, so we ended up parked in front of the road blocks, making fools out of ourselves. Lindsey and I ran out of the SUV, and looked around for the stake markers. Lindsey grabbed one, and we ran back to the SUV, but JOhn had locked the doors and started driving off. I ran towards it, and when He stopped, jumped on the back bumper and held onto the top rack thing. He drove off, me on the back. It was hilarious. He stopped, and LIndsey and I got back in, and we picked up Jill. John drove a bit with Lindsey and I on the back again, and then we got off because we'd get in trouble.

We yelled, "HAPPY REFORMATION DAY" to people a lot, an dstopped twice at random houses to trick or treat. Then John drove into a church's parking lot and then over the sidewalk and curb onto the road. And Jill and LIndsey road on the back as John drove in tight circles in a Cul De Sac. I swear, we coulda gotten arrested. Then we drove down a dark road, because Jill said we'd vault over this huge hill if John floored it. John didn't floor it, so we didn't go flying. But we're going to try again sometime. We came to the conclusion that the four of us have to go driving again sometime. We always have such fun.

After stopping a couple mroe times to get stakes and yell Happy Reformation Day at people (despite the fact that out of us four, only Lindsey and I are Lutheran), we finally went back to Lindsey's house to find Jake having arrived. We hung out, watched some movie and talked until Melissa and Eric and Kari and Aly arrived, and then we went trick or treating.

I got a butt load of candy, and Meaghan showed up! It started sprinkling towards the end, so we went back, and we found Melissa and ERic by the trampoline (i dont' know exactly WHAT They were doing,) so Meaghan gave me a spelling test.

"Spell, Abstinence, kate!"

"A-B-S-T-I-N-E-N-C-E!"

"What's that spell?"

"ABSTINENCE!"

And Eric and Melissa heard us, too. We got back inside, and I read "Mayhem at Metro." Everytime I "killed" someone in the story, everyone cheered. They demanded I write a sequel for the next party. I cheerfully agreed.

We then hung around, watched Resident Evil, talked to George (lindsey's dad, whose real name is Keith), and generally had a lot of fun.

I can't wait to get my pictures developed.

I came home, wrote about a thousand and a half words for NaNoWriMo, then went to bed.

I know have a total of 2094 words. Yay! I"m well on my way.

And now it is three, and I have one thing to say.

ONE DAY!

2003-10-31T07:33:00.000-06:00

I feel a sudden urge to go to school dressed as a monk, with a printed out copy of the 95 theses.

Hey, it IS Reformation Day, after all!

Eeee!

2003-10-31T07:17:00.000-06:00

One day to nanowrimo.

IT"S HALLOWEEEEEEN! I love this holiday.

Yesterday became mucho better. The manufacturer people are going to replace Davito and, what I think is, no cost to us. *sniff* I'll miss Davito. May he rest in peaces (once again, deliberate misspelling). Kurt was sympathetic, and I still suck at the guitar.

I found out yesterday that mom is making paul meet us up at the highschool with his car, so I can take the driver's test! Guess who's skippin' out on CWC? It's darn worth it!

And lindsey called, saying I can come to her party early. Yeeeeah Dawg. And I found my crucifix (the big one) my uncle gave me for my confirmation, so my Vampire Hunter outfit looks even cooler. Though I'm not certain what shoes I'll be wearing yet.

Pictures should be forthcoming.

And you know what else? Today is FRIDAY, and that means...THREE DAYS.

To seeing the lovely visage of a certain person on the hymn service sunday. I'm such a dork, but at least a happy dork...for 7:15 in the morning.

Must go groom for school now.

Oh god...

2003-10-30T16:26:00.000-06:00

I think I'm going to cry.

I went to go get my guitar to practice, and I found the neck split very oddly. It's sort of cracked, but split in a way. Davito is extremely out of tune, and I don't know...

That thing cost dad 300 dollars. I really really hope he isn't mad. I have absolutely no idea how that happened. ANd I don't think it's fixable.

Oh god, I hate wasting my parents so much money. And even more than that, my beautiful Davito is broken!

girly giggle

2003-10-29T20:28:00.000-06:00

Well, my day has been made!

James the Music Guy showed up at the end of choir rehearsal!!

Bri and I were rather reluctant to leave, so we hung out on the steps by the organ that lead down the pews, talkinga bout "Cabbage Patches" and our soon to be published devotions...

Then Bri said she had to leave then or she wouldn't leave at all. I had to agree with her.

He's the cutest thing ever.

Gah, I can't wait until Sunday.... Bri and I decided we should be tenors on Sunday so we can sit closer to the organ....Dad would think I'm nuts.

But Still......*starry eyes*

What is it with guys named Adam?

2003-10-29T18:26:00.000-06:00

I've been sadly lacking in postage since my last good post, which was thursday.

But first, SHOCKING NEWS THA TMAKES CATHERINE THE HAPPIEST PERSON ALIVE! (Well, not really, but close.)

MY DEVOTION GOT PICKED! Wooohaaa! I'm getting paid for something I wrote! It wasn't actually about the money, but it's about getting PUBLISHED! And sharing my Faith is a biggie too. SO, I'm all excited and stuff. More details as they are made known to me.

Melissa's party was uber-fun. My costume got a good response (and Mel's mom gave me a candle for th egood job I did ont it), and John wore a fatsuit in the shape of a Cow. That cracked me up.

We watched Urban Legends Final Cut which was very unscary and the whole chopping off of the chick's head with the window cracked me up like no other. We did some karaoke, I played five mintues of Hide and Seek, watched a bit of Ghost Ship, ran around like psychos, and came up with a new short story idea.

And then...IT happened.

I was talking to Adam, Melissa's ex a bit before I left, cuz I felt like it (besides, I felt like complaining about school and my love life...waitaminute...the whole, "Why don't guys like you?" should have tipped me off! AAAAGH!), and then he followed me to my car when mom picked me up.

"Hey, you wanna do something sometime?" He asked as I trouped out carrying my costume (Most of it was off except my shirt, pants and shoes, cuz I got tired of it. Jack sparrow is cool, but his costume is NOT easy to slouch around in).

Thinking he meant the Group to a movie like we always do, I said sure.

"Is your number in the phone book?"
"uh, I gotta go!" I opened the door, and mom was about to pull out when Melissa's parents came out, demanding I take more candy. I ran up to them, grabbed the candy, thanked them, and ran back to the car, hoping mom would abandon following the speed limit laws.

Yes, you can guess what I derived from that. it F REAKED me out. All weekend I was hiding from the phone, an dI ended up pretending to be asleep at one point (When the person calling happened to be Jimmy).

So Monday rolled around, and Meaghan sympathized. She also has a "stalker" named Adam (Different guy), so she dubbed My stalker Adam, Stalker AOK (stalker a was taken), for Stalker Adam of Kate. Wonderful, no?

But anyway, after school Melissa came by to give me the candle, and she said somethign about Adam liking me which then caused me to chuck a penny ather in frustration.

"Well, he came up to me after you were gone, and said, 'Well, now that the only reason I came here left...'"

AIEEEEEE! I hda to go, since mom was there, but that freaked me out even more.

Guess who called that night?

JOHNNY BOY! He called to see if I wanted to go to Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but I declined, as I had just gotten back from Wal mart and mom wouldn't take me or buy my ticket (Drat the lack of lisence). He wasn't too pleased, but he was mostly joking around.

BOy, did I regret that decision.

Because not an hour later, Stalker AOK called.

We had a very stilted conversation, the bulk of it was me ignoring him while I scribbled in my notebook about how much cooler Kurt and Meaghan and everyone was compared to him, and how much I wanted to hang up.

Please, hold all the "you're so mean!" comments. I've got enough flak from Meaghan and John.

I finally made up an excuse and hung up. John asked me the next day why I don't just date him, and I felt like smacking him with my student planner. I don't date guys I don't like just because they like me. Baaaad relationship tactics. It has to be a two way thing, I explained. I also mentioned to Meaghan it's easily resolved by saying I wouldn't care if he moved to Timbuktu and I never saw him again. I don't even like the guy as a friend.

It's not like I hate him, but I REALLY don't like him.

Meaghan said if he calls again, then she'll tell him to screw off, only more nicely. Because I really dont' want to have anything to do with him. I mean, I was never good friends with him even when he was dating Melissa (though I did make him buy me that frosty from Wendy's). NOt only would it be weird that he likes me after his break up with Melissa (though its been months), I just don't really like him. It wouldn't work at all. So I'm going to avoid him at "Get togethers" if Melissa invites him again. Thank God she's the only one who invites him to our Group's real get togethers.

I'd go crazy otherwise.

So, that was a big chunk of the past few days. Fretting about Stalker AOK. And like I said, Meaghan's sympathetic. Although she's had her Stalker for longer than Mine. But oh well.

Not much else happened, except the Devotion thing, and going driving around yesterday.

Went to the LIbrary today. Stopped by Ashmann's to get a soda, and saw Kyle (though he wasn't working. Weird). Renewed my Tolkien books and checked out two fiction books. Reading is good for you.

Came home, had a spicy chicken sandwitch (intentional misspelling), and am now killing time, waiting for Choir. Um, drew two pictures of Yorke, the coolest werewolf ever (Well, at least in my frame of mind since I haven't written him into my story yet), drew one last night. That guy is just so drawable.

There's a spider crawling across my floor....I need to clean my room.

Got pictures developed. If Malevolus (scanner) decides to no longer be defunct, I'll scan them in. I also wish the printer would just behave for once. The technology in this house hates me. Odisse went out the other day,and that made me sad. No internet aaaaalla the day. Sigh.

Well, gotta go.

HALLELUJAH!

2003-10-26T21:00:00.000-06:00

DAYS LIKE THESE HAS BEEN RESURRECTED!!

IT'S A MIRACLE!!

I LOVE WRITING TO DEEEEEEEEATH!

Hmmmm....

2003-10-25T12:11:00.000-05:00

How Will Snape Seduce You? by eccosophi
User Name
Your House	Ravenclaw
Where?	He Lures You Into His Chambers
How?	You seduced him! You sly vixen! He likes it....
Surprise!	He asks you to marry him!

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

I've come to two realizations...

2003-10-24T17:26:00.000-05:00

One is that I thought I was goign to be the only kid in my family who got their liscense before they turned sixteen and a half. Not so. I"m the kid who's had to wait the longest, dammit.

I just don't give a crap anymore. I'm not going to get my liscense. Mom doesn't seem too keen on me actually getting it, even though she says she wishes I had it.

Well, I do give a crap, but I"m not going to ask for it every day, because, for the love of GOd, I've been asking everyday since I finished driver's ed, and that was ten months ago. Which also means I"m not going to drive everywhere like my mom wants me to. I"ve been driving everywhere for weeks now. I think I know how to drive by now. It just odesn't matter any more. Driving more isn't really going to help me. I've had way over twenty five driving hours. And if anything, I know I'm not goign to get my liscense, so I just won't care when I drive. Which isn't a good thing.

The other realization is that I suck royally at guitar.

Seriously. I don't even know why I still play.

I hate my life.

WERERABBIT!

2003-10-23T19:33:00.000-05:00

Well, today was okay, I s'pose. Nothing much happened in school. Mr. Thomspon made the observation that it seems to be that he has to make one "Politically Incorrect" comment everyday before he can start teaching. And it does seem to be that way. Teehee.

Worked on my SUmmary paper in English (taking notes, that is), and I'm wasting time before I have to type it up (gah, that's going to be more annoying than hard, really). Almost Fell asleep in Econ and realized I hate that class more now than I ever have before. I kept myself awake by drawing a picture of Yorke the Werewolf in my latest vampire story that would not stop kicking my shins (my stories are so demanding). He's the coolest. Lindsey's drawing a picture of him in Werewolf form, and it's beautiful so far.

Made dirty pervy comments in Lunch with Lindsey. As always.

Might have to start my autobiography tomorrow in Religion. Sigh. OH well.

Chemistry was boring. We watched that weird video, and did some homework. I'll have to finish it in Study Hall tomorrow, because I didn't brink home my book, and wouldn't do it anyway.

Came home, practiced guitar. Went to guitar lesson. I still think Kurt is the coolest guy alive. Seriously. I wonder how old he is? I know he's college age, but I wanna know more specifically. I've never known how old my guitar teachers were, except that Austin obviously wasn't in college. The rest were.

Went to Wal-mart, bought post its, a new notebook, and a pencil sharpener. Fun stuff, eh?

Came home, ate, finished up my family tree (i have too many cousins), and wrote my devotion that might get published in a devotional book...*crosses fingers*. My first published work. How fitting that it might possibly be a devotion. The fifty dollars doesn't sound bad either.

But I hope hope hope I'll get it in. I'm proud of this 528 word devotion (not including prayer and Bible Verse). It's about blaming others when we shouldn't. Something I should stop doing.

I suppose I should do my English now, before mom kills me. *whines*

Crap, an dI have to do a works cited page. Bah, evil MLA.

I fear for our non-existant children...

2003-10-22T18:00:00.000-05:00

DuskDragon47: i may end up married (scary thought) but I hope to GOD i won't have kids
LadyKat3434: yeah, i'd be a lousy parent...
LadyKat3434: i'd be like, "i don't give a damn what you do..."
DuskDragon47: "Kids are picking on you? Just slug 'em in the face!" "Ask you dad about sex/drugs/peer pressure. I don't care."
LadyKat3434: lol!
LadyKat3434: "shake it off"
DuskDragon47: "Go piss someone else off, I'm trying to watch Fight Club..."
LadyKat3434: LOL!
LadyKat3434: "i'm going out, fix your own dinner"
LadyKat3434: "you need money? get a job!"
DuskDragon47: "You need a ride? Walk....all the ten miles...."
LadyKat3434: "i'm not buying that for you!"
DuskDragon47: "Why are you bothering me? I gave birth to you, isn't that enough?"
LadyKat3434: plus i can't comprehend someone calling me "Mom"
DuskDragon47: eeee...
DuskDragon47: I hate to say it, but I'd end up one of those parents whose kids call them by their names...
LadyKat3434: yeah, i probably would too..."Mom" is just too weird for me...
LadyKat3434: or they could call me Kiki
DuskDragon47: Yeah, that's like....the ulitmate sign that you're no longer who you used to be...you got KIDS!!!!

Sad thing is, we're totally serious.

Grrr...

2003-10-21T16:58:00.000-05:00

I dont' know what I was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn't a 3.0. Which is good. Keeping your expectations low is a good thing, in my case. I got a 2.8 on my report card. Average, huh? Yep. Perfect for me. NOt below a C, which is an accomplishment.

I swear, if mom makes me wait until next progress report to get my liscense, I WILL have paul drive me to the DMV. I"m not waiting another week for my damned liscense. I not only want it, but I need it. Espeically with the Witch Queen putting the nix on however many get together's at the movies and stuff. Like, my god, I wouldn't even ASK you for a ride if I had my lisecense. It's not MY fault.

I don't care what she says, It's not my fault I don't have my liscense. Sure, I am smart, an dI know it. My ACT and PSAT and Achievement Test scores prove that. But being smart and testing well doesn't mean you're a good student. I am not a good student, no matter how hard I try, it's never good enough. Seriously. That's why I'm hoping things will be different in college. That my ability to test and write well will aide me.

Big deal, three C's, two A's, and one B. I"m pretty happy with the way things are going, espeically as I'm getting better in CHem and Math of Money (well, how good can you be at Math of Money? That's like being good at eating cereal.). And with the whole turning in homework. I've missed what, one assignment in English, one in Econ (Which supposedly wans't supposed to be counted against me...maybe it was my lack of turning in my binder), and two in Math of Money. And every single one of those is ancient history, when I was stillg etting with the groove of being in school again.

Thank god I didn't get below a High C, though. I was SO CLOSE to getting B's in those classes. Every single one of them was in the 80% range. Seriously. I'm seriously trying here. I'm just not naturally good at math, but it's easy to get good grades in Math of Money. All you gotta do is do your homework. And Chem has been pretty straightforward so far, an dI"m actually trying to understand everything.

Chemistry is by farm my hardest class.
And I have no idea why the hell I have a C in English. One homework zero does not a C make...I dunno, Honors/College Credit courses escape me. But that grade is going UP, especially when I write my research paper. It WILL go up, or I'll cry.

Well ,note to self, work on notes tonight...

But Anyway...I want my liscense so badly I coudl scream. Sophomores already have their liscenses, and I"m a freaking senior.

And it's not an independence thing. I actually need it. To go to games to sing for choir, for guitar lesson, for a job once I get one. This is crazy.

I'm gonna go....draw or something. It's been an all around depressing day.

Dude...

2003-10-18T13:24:00.000-05:00

I just realized from Ashley's livejournal that Matrix: Revolutions comes out on my nephew's first birthday.

Dude!

"We won't go til we get some..."

2003-10-18T09:11:00.000-05:00

Well, last night was a total blast. I was roped into going to homecoming football game, mostly because I had to sing, and then I just decided to stay for the heck of it. After singing and not being able to belt the low notes (*sigh*), I ran around with Melissa and Eric (the three of us listened to the choir CD from last year before I had to sing) and Mo and several other people. Lost my earring. I was really sad, and Mo and others tried to help me find it, but it would've been impossible in the dark. SO I gave up, and ended up walking out to John's car with Mo, Melissa, Eric, and Lindsey. JOhn and Lindsey got a lot of colored hairspray, and were putting in on, and Mo, Melissa and I tried to hold Eric down so we could hairspray his hair.

At one point I had a good hold on his jacket as we were kind of flinging each other around ,but I let go because I was laughing too hard. Eric probably thinks I'm insane now. Oh well, it's not an untruth. Anyway, We got bored of that, and hungry, so we all jumped into John's SUV and took off for Dairy Queen. As soon as we pulled out of Metro property, Mo realized her cell phone was missing, so we turned around, and went back to where we had been parked. Mo and I jumped out, and dialed up the number on John's cell phone so its lighting up and vibrating would lead us to it. THen we heard JOhn yell that Mo had left it in the back of the SUV. Feeling stupidly amused, we ran after the SUV, but John was driving away, and I ended up getting mud all over my shoes. Oh well. Mo and Ijumped into the back and ducked down so the cars wouldn't see we weren't wearing seatbelts (*shhh* don't tell my mom*).

We drove to Dairy Queen, bought ice cream, and sat around talking about sexual innuendo, rather loudly. John was calling himself a "Gay fag" because of his hair, and I called him the "Gay Fairy Fag", shortening it to GFF so people wouldn't beat me for being, well, "intolerant". So John has a new nickname. GFF. Moving right along, after suitably freaking out all the employees (one of which was Melissa's ex), we left for WAL-MART! Once there, Melissa and Eric immediatly got separated from us, to go make out or something, Mo was gone with them (i don't know why), and john and LIndsey and i hung around the electronics section looking for the Lost Boys. John and I got distracted by a karaoke machine, and then Mo appeared! She told us Melissa and Eric were making out by the halloween costumes, so we left LIndsey, and went to the hair section, and I bought some blue hair streaker, and John bought some "dirty blonde" hair dye. We were so amused. We then went sneaking around wal-mart so we ould scare Melissa and Eric. As we neared the halloween stuff, John grabbed one of those lawn sticks that had spiderman on it, and was "hiding" behind it. Mo and I hid behind him, and we were doing a horrible spy game thing. It was so funny. We'd run between aisles sneakily. I'm sure all the employees and shoppers thought we were nuts. Melissa and Eric weren't by the costumes, so JOhn, Mo and I rant through half the store trying to find them. We came across this CREEEPY dancing Santa claus that was a little shorter than me. It sang too. John made me "dance" with it while he took a picture with his cell phone. I have to get a copy of that picture and put it as the Picture of the Day. That thing was CREEPY!

After that little interlude, we went back to the electronics section, MO turned into a traitor, and we didn't end up surprising Melissa and Eric, who were with Lindsey. Lindsey kept yelling, "Kate, I found the Lost boys!" while JOhn and I were hiding behind jewelry displays.

We bought our stuff, and then left, because Mo had to go back to the game for her ride. The game wasn't over by the time we came back, so we chilled in John's SUV, called our parents to see if we could go to Lindsey's to watch The lost Boys, which I couldn't, and then eventually went to go find Jill and L.B. (Lindsey's brother, real name Shawn). We were winning, woohoo, couldn't find Jill, found out the hot chocolate was really nasty, and then went back to the flag pole, where we teased Melissa and Eric some more while waiting for my mom.

Forgot to mention that before our little Wal-mart adventure, CHris H. scared me as I was walking around by the press box. So I ran after him, and put him into a headlock for his insolence. I still have a bruise from his hard head...

So I came home, mom told me that people take homecoming seriously and someone might not like that I'm wearing a tux and dying my hair blue for it. I kind of just looked at her and said that no one would care what I did, except my friends, and they all think it's hilarious. I just don't get it. Why would anyone care what I was going to do at homecoming? Seriously, though. I"m not going to be in any of their professional pictures, and I probably wont' be in any of their other pictures. If anything, people will only find it another funny prank by Kate. Paul did much the same when HE was in high school.

I so want to dye my hair, but I won't if mom is going to raise hell about it. It's like saying I can't wear ratty jeans and a t-shirt to finals because people will be made uncomfortable by it. First off, no one's going to notice because they'll be concentrating on finals, and second off, it's my clothes, and my choice, and I say they're comfortable, dammir! Well, blue hair is a little more noticeable, but no one's goign to care, because it doesn't really concern them.

Gosh darnit, the homecoming queen from EHS Last year had bright red hair and a mowhawk for heaven's sake!!!

I'm gonna go complain some more.

Can't wait till tonight!

Grrr.

2003-10-16T20:34:00.000-05:00

Just have to say this, because it has been ANNOYING ME TO NO END!!

Marriage is NOT about just commitment. YOu can get commitment with just about anything. YOu can commit yourself to write a 50,000 word novel, to being best friends with someone, to date only one person at a time.

Marriage is the blending of two complimentary souls, a man and a woman, for all eternity. Sharing one's life, one's soul, one's body.

And I"m sorry to say it, but I do NOT support gay marriage. Deal with it. Sure, yell at me, flame me. You're entitled to your opinion, but I'm sorry, homosexuality BOTHERS me. That's MY opinion, and if you don't like it, then I should just dismiss YOUR opinion just as quickly as you dismiss mine.

I've had too many disturbing instances with them that I...wait a minute...

2003-10-14T15:48:00.000-05:00

The above quote is in reference to the condoms that John wants to hand otu at Lindsey's party. I was in midsentence when I realized how freaking wron gthat sounded.

Today was okay. Seniors got 100% on twin day. Woot. So easy, ya know. Just wearin' our Senior Shirts. Macho Man Volleyball. Seniors won, woot.

Nothing really happened in classes today. Except that Mr. Thompson is my hero. I had forgotten to do our long math of money assignment over the weekend, so the man granted me mercy and let me do it in class (since we weren't doing anything). I TOTALLY lucked out, because I can't afford another zero in that class.

Mr. Hilmer wants to show "Bowling for Columbine" in class tomorrow. I told my mom this on the way home from school, and she practically freaked. It was so funny.

Me: You have to sign a permission slip so I can watch Bowling for Columbine.
Mom: you're watching WHAT??
Me: Um, Bowling for Columbine. In Economics.
Mom: Just forget I said that........

And then she wen ton to explain that the guy (Can't remember his name) was that Anti-Bush guy who got booed out of the Academy Awards or whatever, and that Bowling for Columbine was apparantly a fraud. That it's not a true documentery. So she's thinking about doing a little research and writing a note to Mr. Hilmer. I can just imagine myself going to Mr. Hilmer before school (Actually my idea, if mom's that concerned, then I should give him the note before any class watches it) all dressed up like a pirate. Heh. I dont' care one way or the other if I watch it. I barely even comprehend WHY we're watching it in Econ...

I got a 40 out of 42 on my Chem test! I rock! That's like, a 95 or 96 percent. i can't remember which, but a TOTAL A. And the only ones I missed were questions that I didn't remember us covering in class.

I need to go to K-mart with mom to buy some last minute things for tomorrow, like better eyeliner, a camera, and schtuff. Wee! I am SO excited about tomorrow. I finally get to wear my Pirate costume in completion!!

I'm gonna go read. It's farily quiet online...

I'm mean, I know.

2003-10-13T22:10:00.000-05:00

SO today is my dad's Fiftieth birthday...that means...

MY DADDY IS OOOOOOOOOOOOLD!

Sorry, just had to get that one out of there. At least I can say my dad was a grandfather before he was "old." I don't know why that is important, but it is. Thad the Lad's first birthday is November 5th, so we're all excited about THAT.

Went to the mall today. Johnnie Brock's Dungeon sucks, but I gave in and bought a plastic pirate sword. I found two coats at the Mall that would have been PERFECT broadcoats for my costume, except...THEY WERE THE WRONG COLOR! AGH! And they were HORRIDLY the wrong color, instead of just slightly (cuz then I would have SO bought them and worn them all winter long). But Brandy's letting me borrow her broadcoat she's making for (hopefully) Wednesday and Melissa's Party. MUST use pattern and make my own. And there's no way in HELL I"m letting mom Touch that fabric after it's cut. She mutilated my bodice...

Brandy's also letting me borrow Jimmy's awesome hat. She's awesome.

Anyway, I finally was able to write today! As is evidenced by my last post. Hopefully I won't get burnt out before November, though I do want to post ast least once more with Misadventures of Madness before NaNoWriMo starts.

I even found mynotes for two Harry Potter vignettes I want to write before November. One about Ron and one about Darling Snapey-kins. I have no life.

I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I was spoiled today. Bah. Well, Twin Day tomorrow. There's only ONE interesting day for Spirit Week for Homecoming. It makes me sad. I hate Twin Day, and Sports Apparall day is just stupid. And I'm not even going to say ANYTHING about Green and nGOld Day.

But I can't wait until day afte rtomorrow. DISNEY CHARACTER DAY! I love Cap'n Jack to death. Really, I do.

So I'm going to have a party and invite Ambyre and Katie and we're going to watch the Italian Job, Akira, Boondock Saints and this other movie that I forget right now. And we're going to eat lots of ice cream and not go into work the next day.

Katie and I have the coolest conversations. i'm going to end up having a massive guest list. I hope mom doesn't mind. We don't have our chairs in the basement anymore because Paul the Dork took them when he moved out. *Sigh*. I feel a need to watch Fight Club, but i CAN"T because Paul TOOK IT> I should jsut buy it off of him now so he can go buy the deluxe edition, because, Lord, will I need that movie in college. I think i watch that movie more when i'm bored than anyother.

That's because I don't own Pirates of the Caribbean yet, Paul has my copy of the Italian Job, and I have yet to see Donny Darko, Resevoir Dogs, and Scarface.

I love movies. When I die, I want to be buried under a HUUUUUUGE pile of movies. *siiiiiiigh*

YEEEEESS!

2003-10-13T16:31:00.000-05:00

I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING I'M WRITING....

I'M WRITING!!!!

Bwahahahaaha!

2003-10-13T16:09:00.000-05:00

Kitchellabel: lets go live in the woods around moscow, cate
DuskDragon47: YES! Let's! I can return to my homeland!
Kitchellabel: XD i can drink the vodka and you can kill people with your pirate sword
Kitchellabel: XD I know where the only mcdonalds in moscow is
DuskDragon47: and then we can eat them...er, no I mean then we can use them for target practice with our bows and arrows
Kitchellabel: ah, yesh
Kitchellabel: ^^
Kitchellabel: we could sell them to mcdonalds
Kitchellabel: vodka flavored chicken nuggets
DuskDragon47: They already do that, though
DuskDragon47: the whole selling corpses to McDonald's thing

I love you, Ellabel...

Indecisiveness will be the bane of my existance.

2003-10-12T21:17:00.000-05:00

Woo, busy day. School and everything on Friday was school. Nothing really to say about it.

I missed out going to the movies Friday night because my mom is in league with some of the Devil's minor minions, and wouldn't give me a ride. Darn my liscense-less-ness.

Yesterday was pretty awesome. i don't think i changed into real clothes at all. I have seriously not had that luxury since summer, and I quite enjoyed it. I hung around the house watching movies, posting in the NaNoWriMo forums, and basically chilling, something I haven't really done in forever. God, I miss summer. The only thing that's keeping me from doing whatever the heck I want now is the fact that I'm expected to stay awake in school. Bah.

I should have rented a movie this weekend. Huh...anyway.

Anyway, after an amusing late night (dad came in at like one in the morning, well after I retired for the night, and told me to go to bed. I, being half asleep grunted in response that I WAS in bed, and we left it at that. It was odd), I woke up this morning to Mom telling me we could skip church, but we were going to Bible Study.

Don't ask me how this figures out; I was still in bafflement over the late night Dad rebukement. So I got dressed, went to Church, well, Bible Study, complained over lack of hot water for tea (yet they had coffee. Fuh), listened intently as Pastor Walther told us about Psalms (I actually half paid attention today! Go me!), and then went home (After mom and the rinckers discussed Nebraska's loss last night. Who gives a crap about football, anyway?).

Hung out for a bit, watched some of Signs which is one of the greatest movies ever, and then left for quite an interesting 25th anniversay of my gramma's Priest's um...becoming a priest thing.

Anyway, it was a surprise party, which was catered and had music. After Father Tom came, the other priests started chanting, and making the sign of the cross with a wooden cross, and the choir chanted back. It was kind of cool, with the tradition. And then the choir sang the Our Father (i believe it was. I dunno, they're orthodox), and then one of the priests prayed. It was the closest to Orthodoxy I've ever been. Kinda cool. Anyway, then some people talked for a bit, and then we got to eat!!

The food was food, nothing special about it, but it certainly wasn't bad. But what I'm talkin' bout was the caterers.

Four guys, and some middle aged woman. And the guys were cuuuuute! Eye candy, to be sure. It was sad that the kids closest in age to me were the catering boys, but hey, I'll take what I can get. So I got my mashed potatoes and soft bread, and gazed inconspicuously as the catering boys made sure the food was alright (they took turns serving chicken), as everyone else ate and discussed my college plans (I ignored them. THey were a bunch of people I didn't know) with my parents.

Some guy and a lady went up to talk about Father Tom, which I basically tuned out because I don't know the guy, and I focused my attention instead on the cute catering boys as they started cleaning up. Too bad I didn't ahve the chance to talk to them, asking them what they thought of the little traditional dealie about Father Tom's 25th anniversary of being a Priest.

Anyway, After they talked, the band started playing music!!! That was cool, as well.

And people, if you've seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, then you'll know almost exactly what this was like. Heh. Polka and other ethnic music, and people dancing....wowie. It was like being in a movie. And I watched carefully, and now I know how to polka. And do this circle line dance thingy that reminded me further of the aforementioned movie. It was great.

And then we had to leave, because I was going to the Lutheran College Fair (I didn't really have a choice. Mom just all of a sudden started making plans out of the blue and I didn't really dissuade her). It was rather boring, the Fair. We went to two seminars that I personally didn't find helpful, but MOm and Dad did, so hey, if the shoe fits.

What was more beneficial was the actual fair thingy. I went to the representative for Concordia St. Paul and talked to her for a bit. I might go on a college visit up there. And I have to finish my application and alla that. Anyway, I didn't really want to see any of the other colleges (I wasn't interested in them at all), and so I went off to go eat some of the food they had out (Dad was raving about it), and Mom and I bumped into Sue Hasselbring, a lady we know who does a lot of missions in Botswana and who taught for a year or two at my High School, and was my sister's camp counselor at Camp Wartburg many a year ago. So we had to stay and talk to her until just about everybody left. Sue was there with friends of hers that were also there for the Fair, so it was all good.

I told mom that I didn't know if I wanted to go the Youth Group meeting tonight, as we were supposed to do planning stuff for the NYG, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to go anymore.

Well, that's not true. I would LOVE to go to the NYG in Orlando next summer, but I really don't like Youth Group. I just never get anything out of it, and I don't have anyone to hang out with, and it would be like pulling teeth having to go to so many meetings and fund raisers. So mom and I discussed this for a bit, and then with Dad and Sue, and now I'm more confused than ever.

We didn't end up going to the meeting. We came home from the Fair too late for one, but still I'm relieved. I hate making decisions. I'm probably not going to go, though. I don't know. It's just...BLAH!

Strange story...on the way home, soem police officer cut us and three lanes of traffic off on the INterstate, with his sirens and lights and everything, and then another police car passed, as did Four Vandalia Buses (of the Vandalia Busline), and then the first police car followed them, lights flashing. Going about 60-65 the entire way to Market Street (we followed them a goodly while).

We were absolutely baffled. Why would four Vandalia Buses need a police escort? We still don't know. It was rather odd. And mom was mad because the way the police car cut us off, they could have caused a serious accident.

Stupid Cops, Learn how to cut off traffic safely.

Anyway, we came home, I finished watching Signs, and here I am, waiting for tomorrow to come.

Mall and Johnny Brock's here we come!!

I SO want a broadcoat.

Gah!

2003-10-10T18:10:00.000-05:00

The next person who makes me play the "Guess WHat" game, whether in IM or email, is getting BEAT.

THank you.

~Management.

I am Weak.

2003-10-09T18:48:00.000-05:00

I so wasn't going to do this, but since Ashley did...

I'm doing the National Write a novel in a month thingamaboober. http://www.nanowrimo.org/index.php is the link. It sounds interesting, but I wasn't going to do it because I didn't feel compelled to write crap for a month, but, now that I think...I can not write crap for a month.

I'll write junk for a month. Sound good? Yeah! But Ashley has a title and everything, and I have no idea what I'll write. I'll check out my ramblings file on my computer and see what I come up with. Maybe I'll write that storya bout the assassin, the idea I got from Boondock Saints, and was beefed up thanks to the Usual Suspects and the Italian Job. I love that story.

There's no way in heck I'm going to write my pseudo scifi story. It' sway too complex. Nor am I going to do Angel of Music, since I already started on rewriting it and eveyrthing. Oh well, here goes!@

November should be an interesting month..

I've found a new source of worship...

2003-10-09T17:51:00.000-05:00

And that is Kurt, the ever lovable guitar teacher. And no, not worship in the sense of Johnny Depp, James the Music Guy, CLAY, or anything like that. Oh no.

Any guy (or girl, really, but Kurt's a guy, so you know) who can turn my mood totally 180 DESERVES my worship. Because, don't you know, I'm in a bad mood, I stay in a bad mood. For a while. But I was in a totally CRAPPY mood on the way to guitar lesson, and right now, I'm just...

Happy.

*blink* Wow. Just plain happy. Poeples, look well, because this doesn't happen very often. paul came over, swiped my copy of Italian Job (okay, so I gave it to him willingly), and I" mnot even upset!

THis is so odd...but Kurt just made me so happy for half an hour. He makes me laugh, and he seems genuinely interested in helping me learn guitar. He's an awesome teacher in that respect, plus he's just otherwise good at music. I remember, waiting to go into lesson with a look of "SCREW YOU WORLD" on my face, and I came out smiling. At nothing.

No, I'm not in love with the guy or anything (why it sounds like I am, I have NO idea). But, he just totally lifted up my mood.

And I wont' let mom take that away from me (that's part of the reason for my hatred in the last post. She said either practice a lot or no more lessons). Because going to lessons makes me something I"m not often am. Happy.

I think, that when I take off for college next fall, I'm definitely going to miss him. Remind me in a year to give him like, a guitar or something for sheer thankfullness.

Dang, only about a months worth of lessons and I"m already completely pleased with the guy.

*grin* I'm so glad Kurt became my guitar teacher. Really. Because he's rivaling Austin now with best teacher. YESSSS!!!

Oh, and about the laundry thing...I can't do laundry. At all. Basically all I know how to do is to separate whites from colors, and no belts at all. That's it. I don't know a thing else. And I can't fold clothes worth crap. I'm sure I'll learn easy enough, but for now, It's a complete mystery to me.

But I LOVE GUITAR LESSONS!

Sometimes, I just want to tell life to screw off and kick it in the butt.

2003-10-09T16:36:00.000-05:00

TOday sucked. I hate my life somtimes. School is just about the most boring place on earth, and I see Bri pretty much agrees with me. I mean, honestly, I haven't really had a nice, juicy homework assignment in forever. Not that I want to do homework, but jeez...I expected a little more work this year. Math of Money is just ridiculous, English doesn't seem like it should get college credit, Chemistry is amusing in its suckiness (I'm not stupid, I do not need a cheatsheet. Therefore, I dont' think it's fair that I"ll get points taken off for not having a notecard with answers written on it on my test tomrorow), Choir is bleh (better than Chem and stuff, though I wish we were singing more fun songs), Econ makes me want to cry because I'm so bored. REligion is kind of okay. Study Hall is STudy Hall...

And crap, that just about sums up everything.

Mom hates me, and I would kill her if I wouldn't go to hell or jail. Seriously...she makes me so mad.

I'm counting down the days until I can cuss her out and tell her what I really think of her parenting methods (you do not tell your child you agree with the kids who are making fun of her) without her legally being able to punish me. Not that I'll do it on my actual birthday, but ya know...

Roughly 282 days until I am a legal adult.

*Sigh* I'd give ANYTHING to speed up that time. ANYTHING. Well not quite, but ya know. I crave college more than anything. I desperately need to get away from here. Senior YEar makes me laugh, in its ineptness, and my mother is grating on my nerves more everyday. Honestly, not letting me eat until my room is clean? Can't you get arrested for that?

I am SO not staying at home for minor holidays like some people, and I"m moving to Chicago (or whever my career leads me...though I want it to be CHicago or New York, depending...) as soon as I graduate. Because, dammit, I hate it here. I need to get away.

And I can't wait until the day I dont' need my parents anymore. Give me bills, taxes, paying for gas, cleaning my own house, feeding myself 24/7, paying insurance over my mother anyday.

But, good lord, I still need to figure out the whole laundry thing. Because, over all the other things, that scares me.

SEriously. Laundry scares me more than taxes.

Does that make me weird?

HJmmm

2003-10-07T16:09:00.000-05:00

Who were you in a past life? by Kat007
Name:
Birthdate:
Favorite Color:
Country:
You were most probably:	A depressed goldfish
If not then you were:	Tutankhamen

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Why does this not surprise me in the least?

Killing me Slowly

2003-10-06T19:39:00.000-05:00

There is nothing more heartbreaking than opening a blank document in Word, or opening your blank book, or grabbing a pen to write in you school notebook, and find that you just can't.

Writing is everything. I live to write. And lately, I just haven't been able to do so. Well, I have been able to write nonfiction, like my English essay and in my blog, but otherwise....

The inspiration won't come. It just won't. It's blocked. I can't tap into it and write the wonderful things I have in my head. It's starting to wear on me, too. I haven't written anything truly decent sicne I wrote a short piece about music several weeks ago, and before that, who knows how long...

It's killing me, too. It's killing me not to be able to do what I do best.

Why can't I write? I have a feeling this is much more than writer's block. I know what I want to write, and I know how I could do something (not like, blocked on a certain area like I usually am), but the words just won't come. The words always come. Words are my friends; i treat them with the same loving care as I would my own child (despite the fact that I'll never have a child).

And they won't come.

And it seems bleak, as if they won't come for a while yet.

Why, God, why? Why are You letting me feel this? I want to write...write about You, about flowers, about elves, about anything, and yet I can't.

Is there something behind this, God? I hope there is, if You're torturing me like this...

Um, invisible date, anyone?

2003-10-05T21:38:00.000-05:00

Well, here's my post, finally. I just remembered to do so at like, 9:30, when I was shleepin' my headache off.

EHS' homecoming was great. The coronation was boring, but when that was over, it got better. Melissa's bf Eric is pretty nice (at least to me). Shea was hitting on Melissa all night. And i mean hard. It was kind of humourous.... anyway...Vampire CHris was there! Anyone remember him? No? He touched my ear. Why he did this? Because my earlobe started bleeding, and I was like, freaking out, and he was trying to see where it was bleeding. Then he left. I was like, okay....

I didn't do much dancing, just like at metro dances, because, honey, I can't dance. At least not like Melissa. It was fun anyway, because every now and then the guys around us would do something funny, or someone would try to break dance...or jump on each other's backs and run around...Great fun, I tell you.

I didn't dance with anyone, but boo hoo, that's how it goes. Nathan (yes, Wells. He's not so bad) and I decided to try out for Snowball MC's, and if we both make it...*cackles* Oh boy that's going to be an interesting dance... I've got a dress design already, and I'm probably going to end up making myself. I highly doubt Famous or Dillard's will be offering a plaid dress....

Anyway, at like, 10:30 we left to go to Denny's, and we got a cool corner booth. I ordered pancakes, for lack of being able to eat anything else (Darned TMJ!). And I just kind of sat there with a stupid smile on my face while the other two couples were like, cuddling. It was kind of weird, but funny in a way. I didn't really care. Sure, I was a fifth wheel, but again, I didn't care. I'm weird like that. We soon came to the conclusion (actually, this was as we were leaving) that I had an invisible date named Jonas. Oh yeah, we're rocking now.

But anyway, yes the syrup did come in shot glass thingies. At least that's what they looked like. And yes, Nathan and I did try to see who could drink one faster. And yes, I did indeed win whilst Eric snapped a picture. Nathan and I are dorks; we know this.

We eventually left because both Nathan and I had to be home, and Nathan was giving me a ride. We ended up taking pictures in the little room between the doors at the entrance of Denny's. Nathan with Kari, and Eric with melissa. ANd me with my arm around my fictitious date. And then the guys carried the girls to the car while I hopped along on one foot, proclaiming, "See, Jonas is carrying me! He's kind of weak though. So I have to help him."

We stood around talking for a while, then finally left. While the guys kissed the girls good night, I shouted, "EEEEEW! That's GROOOOOOOSS!" just for good measure, then Nathan and I left. He opened the sunroof and started shouting that Kari was hotter than Melissa (honestly, they're sisters), and just basically random obscenities because that's "funny" or something (actually, it kind of was...), and then Eric mooned us. I had to avert my eyes, then scream "THAT'S DISGUSTING" because honestly.....I didn't want to see that.

Nathan drove home (and talk about Jimmy being a bad driver!!), and then I hung about on the internet until one, and woke up at 7 because of church. Sang early service (agh), and then went to Bible study where I nearly fell asleep trying to pay attention, then went home.

We went to the fall concert earliesh (my dad did the sound system stuff to record it), and I did all of that. My dad said the choir sounded really good. I have yet to listen to the tape thingy, seeing as how I fell asleep before he could play it for me, but I'm going to do that tomorrow.

I came home after rockin' it despite my sickness (*hack*dies*), and was up long enough to revise and type up my English essay and to skip dinner before I fell asleep. Mom woke me up to ask me if I wanted to go to youth group. I didn't really want to, but I actually had an excuse this time. I had a headache, and coupled with the fact that I'm sick enough, mom let me skip. So I slept until like, 9:30.

And here I am. I'm going to go get somethign to eat and drink, because Lord only knows I need it.

This just about sums up my night...

2003-10-05T11:35:00.000-05:00

More detailed description later!

Just passin' the time...

2003-10-04T15:57:00.000-05:00

If I were a [feminine] gay man... by 38886
Your name
Your Gay Man Name	Jimmy
Your Gay Man Occupation	Hair Dresser
Your Stereotypical Gay Man Trait	Flailing when excited
Your Gay Man Music of Choice	Boy George/Culture Club
Your Gay Man Cause of Death	Mobbed on way to Canada

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Sad thing is, my brother's name is Jimmy...

Which porn will you star in? by Bert
Name
Co-Star	Cyrus Bolooki
Porn Star Name	Connie Casbah
Your Role	Prostitute
Title of Movie	Muffy the Vampire Layer
People Who Watched	467,722

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

I don't know whether to be amused about the "Prostitute" thing or just over all sickened. Still, these results were funnier than putting in Catherine (except th title was "Star Whores")

Which member of the Fellowship will father your children? by paper_flowers
Username
Who	Viggo Mortenson
Birthday of said baby:	August 19, 2008
Reason he fathered your baby:	He's always wanted a little barin of his own.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

*blink*blink* No matter what name of mine i put it, I always get Viggo...

Which member of the Fellowship will father your children? by paper_flowers
Username
Who	Viggo Mortenson
Birthday of said baby:	October 2, 2008
Reason he fathered your baby:	He's a man-whore.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

I had to put that one, just because i was so amused (only like, one person calls me Kat, though).

Which LOTR Star Will You Marry? by howaboutit
Username
Age
Fave place to be kissed
You will marry:	Elijah
On your honeymoon, you will:	Have a threesome with a complete stranger
It will end:	On Jerry Springer

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

o.O;;

What is your HP/LotR crossover threesome? by Elaureth
Username
Shoe Size
Favorite color of jelly bean
Your HP lover is:	Harry Potter
Your LotR lover is:	Legolas
Your love child from this sex-fest will be:	a muggle orc.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

So like, muggles can be orcs? Or orcs muggles? Too bad it couldn't have been Legolas/SNape...

Oh god, I can't believe I just thought that...

What is your HP/LotR crossover threesome? by Elaureth
Username
Shoe Size
Favorite color of jelly bean
Your HP lover is:	Severus Snape
Your LotR lover is:	Figwit
Your love child from this sex-fest will be:	a magical human.

Created with quill18's MemeGen!

Well I'll be darned...Anyway, that was fun. Off now, to read for another hour and a half...

Oh Lordy...

2003-10-04T14:27:00.000-05:00

God almight, I was up early. Before 8, even! I couldnt' sleep on, for whatever reason, so the day passed by rather slowly. I didn't really do anything useful. At ALL...

I mostly just read the fourth volume o fthe Princess Diaries and piddled around the house, wishing I had been granted a few more hours of sleep to help recuperate (although I am feeling a lot better than I have been) for tonight and tomorrow. And I'm going to be up so late...Bah.

I did take a shower at one point. Props for me, i'm hygeinic!

School yesterday was awesome. I could actually sing decently in choir, I got out of Math of Money early to help Mrs. Frey with chapel. Was slugged during chapel by Bri, got to run of "crying" and nearly slipped...That was fun. English I just basically read the best book EVER, The Perilous Gard which for some reason I always forget to list in surveys and info stuff as my favorite book of all time. I just always forget i have it. Lunch just kinda hung out with Lindsey and John as always, Econ took a easy peasy test and was told by Mr. Hilmer that it is TOTALLY not in my character to not do my homework ("HUH?!") and that I've turned in all my homework so far (and I reiterate: "HUH?!") and that he's not counting the missing homework assignment that I actually didn't do (*shhh...it's a secret*) against me. I also drew a little comic strip about the "TABLE!" incident and it can be found here. REligion was just more autobiographies, and in study hall PC and I went down to the Art room again, and I talked to Mr. V about chapel (he loved the hair flipping thing I did. Tee hee), and about possibly taking independant art 2 next semester. Then I went back up to STudy hall, read for a bit, and then went to Chemistry, where I just kind of sat around and...read...and did some homework stuff.

Then I came home and hung out. Oh Joy! Oh Rapture!@ My life is so interesting.

Off to finish the Perilous Gard, the best book EVER!

Grr

2003-10-03T21:29:00.000-05:00

I really wish people would just SHUT UP sometiems and realize they are NOT right all the time.

Seriously. I'm not right all of the time, and certain people have "proved" this to me more than enough times.

So can they ever be wrong?

Absolutely.

I've been getting really irritated with certain things lately. I'm probably thinking too much about all these depressing things.

Bah, this sucks.

Revelations RULE (and no, not the Biblical book)!!

2003-10-01T18:25:00.000-05:00

Well, I"m a happy little Catherine. I've just figured out a way to make the final Fresca Files non-depressing! YAAAY! NO KILLING OFF OF THE CHARACTERS!

Because, seriously, it just wouldn't fit with the story. And i forsee that the final Fresca Files story will be rather short compared to the others.

Speaking of which, I need to write the next chapter of Misadventures of Madness...

2003-10-01T17:15:00.000-05:00

You know, if I wasn't so completely sick right now, I would be in a perfectly happy mood.

I hate being sick.

Bah

2003-10-01T16:38:00.000-05:00

I went to school this morning, even though I was sick. The fact that i was sick didn't even register until I was at school. Darn.

ANyway, choir was a nightmare. I so can't sing righ tnow. STupid sickness. I'm gonna take a bunch of decongestants this weekend, savvy?

And then apparantly Mr. Kostencki forgot that he had a meeting today with Becky, so it was rescheduled for monday. That irritates me in a way only Drama folk could understand. Oh well. I wanna play the drunk old maid. That would be so fun. I'd get to talk in a cockney accent!

Not much else to say,really, since i'm sick and not paying attention to much. I have to go to choir tonight, too, since I'm singing on sunday.

I can NOT be getting any sicker. I have play practices to go to (next week! With auditions!) Concerts to sing, school to go to and be bored to tears...

I hung out in the art room during study hall today. It was interesting.

God, i'm tired, but I can't sleep. I've already tried. And my lil chibi comic I'm drawing is getting a fram drawn a day. I remember, the first three frames I drew the first night, then the next the next day, and then the next yesterday with the crappy pencil, and then the current one is half drawn. It's only filled up half my sketchbook page. Wee.

Now, off to go be tired.

I truly am Paul's sister...

2003-09-30T18:41:00.000-05:00

Well, I just figured out what I'm going to wear to Metro's Homecoming. And I've worn it before in public, twice, and it's older than I am (that sounds weird).

If you haven't figured it out yet, I won't tell you what it is I'm wearing. And don't ruin it for others if you have!

But, boy oh boy, this is gonna be great.

I wonder if I could get into the yearbook for this!!

Woooaaaah!

2003-09-29T20:16:00.000-05:00

For all of you who have undoubtably heard about how my computer chair tried to kill me (twice), this makes me a happy Catherine indeed.

I love you, Dad.

Names...

2003-09-29T18:51:00.000-05:00

Catherine is the #46 most common female name.
0.373% of females in the US are named Catherine.
Around 475575 US females are named Catherine!
source namestatistics.com

Booya! It shoudl be 47. It really should.

K**** (editted because I value my privacy) is a very rare last name.
Very few last names in the US are K****.
Be proud of your unique last name!
source namestatistics.com

Seriously, I love my name. First and Last. Because Catherine is a very old name, and my last name is very unique.

Gotta love being Russian!

Dark Promises...Dun dun dun!!

2003-09-29T17:55:00.000-05:00

Today was pretty interesting, and cool, aside from getting a headache halfway through the day.

I was freakin' cold in math of money, and I was unable to sing during choir, which made me sad. Hopefully I'll get well by the weekend, since the Fall concert is on Sunday, as well as adult choir singing in church. and Possibly EHS's homecoming.

We watched Veggie Tales in English. I was amused. Lunch, mom forgot to give me mayonnaise for my tuna, but I made do. I got really bored in econ, because some guy I didn't know or care about was giving a presentation, so I drew this picture of Snape. He's got bangs!

And then in Religion, autobiographies. Note to self, sift through our mountains of pictures.

Study Hall, I finished my MASSIVE Math of MOney assignment which was boring as hell, and Chemistry I kind of was lost in my own little world.

Zach and Tim came back at the end of the day, and Zach paid me a dollar to find Dan K. But i gave it back to him because I"m a dork.

Came home, watched UHF, and I just found out that Brandy and Becky are coming up to school on wednesday for a interview of sorts to direct, and if Becky can direct, we might have auditions as soon as Friday! LET US REJOICE UNTO THE LORD< FOR HE IS GOOD!

Seriously, now, that rocks me socks.

*crosses fingers, hoping for a lead* I've been waiting years for this, and hopfully, my wish will come true. I'm so bored with school anywy, and have little homework every night, so I'll actually have time to memorize, and will definitely be eligible. My hardest class so far is Chemistry, for heaven's sake, and it's all kid stuff right now.

I'm hungry. Mom's making pierogi!

Here I stand, I can do no other

2003-09-28T19:58:00.000-05:00

Well, I just saw the movie that labelled me the biggest Lutheran in existance, and I DON'T CARE!

Luther was such an awesome, inspiring, powerful movie, I want to hug it. But I can't, so I'll have to settle for the DVD when it comes out. My only gripe is a very, very tiny issue with Katherina Von Bora and Luther. They didn't exactly want to marry each other, but they did anyway. They didn't convey it that way in the movie, but they didn't dwell on it like some big love story. So I don't mind, because they kept sight of what the Luther was truly about.

And apparantly the actor who played Luther was an atheist, (might still be), and I'm just wondering how he could say some of those things he said in the movie...and mom told me that they were going to have a double do the first scene, where he almost gets struck by lightning (which makes him go to the monastary), but the actor (gaah, I wish I could remember his name) was so moved by the movie he decided to do that part.

But the movie...just...wow.

Go see it, even if you aren't a Lutheran. Or a Christian. Because it's amazing, and mostly because it's all true!

I wanna see it again....

I'm spellbound, really.

Bah

2003-09-28T14:41:00.000-05:00

I dont' know why, but lately my nickname "Kate" or "Cate" (depending upon who you are) has really been annoying me. I don't know why. I mean, I've lived for about twelve years being called Kate (for the first few years of my life I was Catherine). It shouldn't bother me.

But it is. i can't say why, but it does, gosh darnit! Oh well, at least it isn't as bad as Katie, which I REALLY can't stand.

I guess it's just, that when I tell people my name is Catherine, sometimes other people have spoken up rather violently against it. :"What? You're name is Kate!" "But Catherine's my real name!" "No it isn't!" "What??"

Yes, that's happened before. I guess it's one of those things like in books and movies and stuff, where kids grow up and no longer want to be called nicknames from their childhood.

I just don't get it, but I'll just say, I really do prefer Catherine. That's what I write on all my school papers. But I will answer to Kate. That is all.

Nooooo~

2003-09-27T21:43:00.000-05:00

Went to the Oral surgeon yesterday.

He recommended that I get braces, because of my damned crossbite.

NOOOOOOOO!!!

Life can just go screw itself...

2003-09-27T11:47:00.000-05:00

Why is it that the one chance I have to actually get what I want...what I've wanted for years, and that has always slipped through my fingers mostly because of my fault...why is it that the one chance to get that one thing that I want to base m life upon...(sort of)...

Why is it that the one chance i have is crushed? By absolutely no fault of my own?

I think someone's laughing at me. Seriously. I've waited so long for this, and it looks as though because of people's incompetence and the "OH we're too depressed" game, I won't get it.

And it looks as though, thanks to that, I'll never get it.

I hate this stupid life. WHy can't any one realize that this is what I go to high school for (Besides it being required to go to college), other than seeing my friends? Why can't they see that this is just as important to me as sports are to others? Whyc an't they see that I've been working my butt off to try to get this to work?

Why is my school so damn incompetent when it comes to scheduling?

I freaking hate my school, and my life. IT can all just go screw itself, because I'm tired of getting screwed by both.

I saw her standing there...

2003-09-25T17:58:00.000-05:00

School is so boring, I want to scream. I helped Mr. Thompson in chapel yesterday. That was fun. Just read a Bible Verse. With a MICROPHONE!! Wee!

I drew chibis in economics. That's always fun.

Choir last night was okay. Mr. Semler seems keen on giving us lots of new music every week. Uncle James left today.

Last night we went to Bandana's, where the Waiter reminded me of someone. I dunno.

But anyway, school was boring again today. Meaghan had her tea flavored sugar again...I drew Harry Potter Chibis...Took a test in English...

Guitar lesson was excellent. Kurt's teaching me I saw her standing there, and he was explaining something, and just went off playing the song in a country stlye, singing in an exaggerated style. It was absolutely hilarious. I love that guy. I wonder how old he is?? DOn't look at me like that, I get that way about any male musician who excels at music and isn't butt ugly... All I know is that he goes to SIUE....along with James the music Guy! ANd several other people I know.

I just called Brandy and discussed Becky directing. They're gonna come up to the school tomorrow and stuff. Can't wait! Hope Mr. Kostencki will be there, because sometimes he isn't.

Oh well!

[::lost::] in a ~fairy*tale~

Funny, init?

Just because I feel like it...

Another rambling, soul searching post...

PIRATES!!!

Blargh

Weee!

This is it!

Robitussin???

Thanks for the encouragement, Mom...

*bangs head on keyboard*

"When You're captured by pirates, always use Covergirl Everlast!"

FOR THE LOVE OF THE PIRATES!

So....

HALLELUJAH!

EVIL!

Benny and Joon

The choices made by my Godgiven free will ultimately lead me to my Fate...

Stolen from Ellabel

Holy Crap.

Shakespeare, what a vessel of inspiration.

Grah!

I want to get away....

I DID IT!

Woot!

Dude!

URGH!

Everything's going wrong...

Oh my god

I wanna get away.

*siiiigh*

These facts SHOULD have been obvious...

It's never enough, is it?

Sometimes, I wish this world would end...

Bored and annoyed

I hate this...

Grr..

Procrastination is an art...

I'm not a parent!!

Never Better

Things to Do....

NaNoWriMo....you steal my soul.

DAMMIT!

19064 and counting...

I want Agent Elrond...

GRR!

10,097, and counting...

Why does this not surprise me?

Dammit!

Woah!

STOP! I SEE STAKES!

Eeee!

Oh god...

*girly giggle*

What is it with guys named Adam?

HALLELUJAH!

Hmmmm....

I've come to two realizations...

WERERABBIT!

I fear for our non-existant children...

Grrr...

Dude...

"We won't go til we get some..."

Grrr.

I've had too many disturbing instances with them that I...wait a minute...

I'm mean, I know.

YEEEEESS!

Bwahahahaaha!

Indecisiveness will be the bane of my existance.

Gah!

I am Weak.

I've found a new source of worship...

Sometimes, I just want to tell life to screw off and kick it in the butt.

HJmmm

Killing me Slowly

Um, invisible date, anyone?

This just about sums up my night...

Just passin' the time...

Oh Lordy...

Grr

bangs head on keyboard

siiiigh

girly giggle